Why Fentanyl?

    Although I accepted the message God gave me before Tracy's memorial, that March 22, 2022 was the time God had chosen for him to die, still I wondered, why fentanyl? I was thankful that Tracy didn't suffer, fentanyl is a killer, but a somewhat kindly one. I was grateful that God let him have years of sobriety and success before he died, but I think Tracy would be ashamed to have died from drugs. It is only now that the dealer has been sentenced that I begin to see answers to the why fentanyl question. For one thing, the dealer has been sentenced to 38 years, which will make the streets of Helena a little safer for a while. More importantly, the dealer, Neil, seems truly broken by Tracy's death and I firmly believe God will use this circumstance, prayer, and possibly my Lament book, to bring salvation to Neil and his family. 

   And though I feel bad about his long, possibly permanent, separation from his family, seeing these consequences instead of Dad going out to sell drugs, may prevent his children from following in his footsteps. Also, from looking at his criminal record, minus whatever might be in a sealed juvenile record, Neil has been imprisoned in a sin cycle he could not break out of, for decades. If he finds forgiveness through Christ, despite being in prison, he will be free for the first time in his life. 

   The prosecutor also accepted a copy of my book, so perhaps she will be reached too, or give it to someone facing the same sorrow. Perhaps I will write another book, a follow up to Lament of the Lamb, but I don't want it to end with Neil being imprisoned, I want it to end with Neil being saved. God has told me often, There is purpose in all I do, so there is purpose in Tracy's death being from fentanyl. Maybe Neil's long sentence will discourage other drug dealers. Maybe local law enforcement will see merit in trying to find the dealer whose fentanyl killed a 16 year old here last summer. And, of course, there will be both earthly and eternal effects that I will not know about until heaven. Nothing is wasted in the sovereignty of God, not even the evil of drugs. The Savior who brought life from death can bring fruit from fentanyl.