Will and Grace

    The title is not a reference to the television show of some years back. I never even watched it. This blog is about my Will, who I believe I can safely write about because he doesn't read this. I want to expand a little on the encounter I mentioned briefly between Will and the drug dealer, Neil. I would like to think I can tell when someone is lying, but that would be lying to myself, some people are very good at lying. Lance, our spare son, knew just how much detail to add to make a lie believable. When Neil said he was sorry for what happened to Tracy, through his defense attorney, to our family in court, to Will and I after sentencing, when such a statement would do him no good, I was inclined to believe him. Neil has a son, so he would understand how it would feel to lose him. I have few illusions about human nature, but I am not a pessimist. A pessimist would naturally assume that he was only sorry he got caught.

    It is logical for a criminal to apologize in court for his crime, especially when the victim died. It might give an advantage with a jury or at sentencing. But logic also tells me that Neil, a 40 year veteran of the legal system, knew that if he contested the charges, especially if it became a jury trial, he would have months, even years, in which to spend time with his family while he waited for the glacially slow gears of justice to catch up with him. He probably would not have fared well in a jury trial, but he would be unlikely to get a longer sentence than the 38 years the judge gave. The fact that he took ownership for Tracy's death by admitting to it speaks volumes for the sincerity of his Sorry.

    And that is what Will was responding to. By acknowledging his guilt, he saved our family months of uncertainty waiting for resolution. I am sure Will's words of thanks were as healing to Neil as my words of forgiveness. And the handshake affirmed that despite what had happened, he still had value as a man. I knew my children were exceptionally intelligent and talented, but to see past the great wrong Neil had done to commend the thing he did right, displayed a greater measure of grace than I have ever witnessed. And grace does not come from genetics, logic, talent or intelligence, it comes from God.