The wait will soon be over. Sentencing of the dealer whose drugs killed Tracy two years ago will happen tomorrow afternoon. After the initial shock of learning Tracy had died, I saw the many ways God had been preparing our path to make this easier for us. Having Luke in Helena, but not making him be the one to find Tracy's body, having us at Britten's house for dinner so Luke could tell her and she could tell us. Dozens of other things.
And as the hearing nears, God has heard my heart again and placed Christian friends in my, seemingly random, path. My massage appointment yesterday had been scheduled for weeks, but along with the massage, I got a hug and a promise to pray. Also yesterday, a friend from church asked me about sharing at a baby shower Friday evening. Explaining the reason I would not be there, added her to my army of prayer warriors. Plus, I got a much needed hug from her when I dropped off my baby gift today. And though it is not unusual for me to see people I know in Costco, both of the ones I saw today were from BSF and knew about Tracy and the drug dealer. That gave me two more hugs, and prayer partners to add to an already substantial list.
Meanwhile, my cousin who is also my hairdresser, and shares my name and my faith, left a message to see if I wanted to come in for my next appointment one day earlier. When I called her back, I was able to give her my prayer request. An author friend sent me an invitation to her book signing and the whole author's group got my prayer request through that. At first, I thought God was using those encounters as a message to expand our prayer circle--which I did when I got home, I put our request on Facebook. But the truth that had me in tears at the grocery store was not about recruiting people to pray. God had placed these Christian friends in my path, to show that He heard me. He heard my heart and sent people to encourage me.
I do not expect anything to be easy about speaking in court for the first time, seeing the dealer face to face, or relying on an unknown judge for justice, but I know God has prepared this path for us. People of prayer are, and will be, speaking to God, the perfect judge, on our behalf, calling for justice for Tracy, and repentance for the dealer. God's sovereign will is not dependent on our prayers, but through prayer, we get to participate in His plan.
In the Bible, names for God were often forged in the fire of hard circumstances--Jehovah Jireh, God provides, when God revealed a ram for Abraham to sacrifice in Isaac's place; Beer-lahai-roi, well of the living God who sees me, when God provided a well and words of hope to Hagar as she was dying in the desert. And now in my own fiery trial, without the benefit and beauty of Hebrew, I shall add mine--the God who hears my heart.
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