How to Become a Pessimist in 10 Easy Steps

1. Notice when your negative predictions come true, but not when they don't. After all, you can't keep track of everything.
2. Tell worst case scenarios to people who are already discouraged. Consider it a reality check.
3. Deflect encouragement from others. They probably don't mean it.
4. Call your negativity realism. All pessimists put "Realist" on their name tags.
5. Forget God's past faithfulness. Focus on an unknown future
6. . . . and on politics. That's always uplifting.
7. Fill your mind with us vs. them news talk or sermons. It feels good to have your opinions validated.
8. Remember all past injustices done to you. It is not a sin to have a good memory.
9. Justify your own past offenses. God's grace has got those covered.
10. Share negative things about others. It's not gossip if it's true.