No One is Looking

   There is a certain freedom that comes with being in your 60's. It's not that I no longer care how I look. It's that most other people don't care how I look. For instance, Reed and I went on a boat tour on a sunny Saturday in Gig Harbor and I got a farmer tan--a short sleeved shirt composed of pasty white skin. Even before bingo flaps, I had lots more short sleeved tops than sleeveless, so this is a common occurrence. Years ago, having a two-toned tan would have really bothered me, but it's no big deal now because I realized, no one is looking. Age not only confers (or at least increases the odds for) wisdom, it is also a magic invisibility cloak.You become just another old person. Younger generations barely glance at us and older generations do not care about farmer tans. I am free to let myself go. That is not my intention, but my body is going for it nonetheless.            
     I am, I confess, prone to vanity. I still check the beauty sections of my magazines, but their recommendation for women in their 60's and up is less is more. I have long known that too much makeup on young girls makes them look even younger and too much on older women makes them look older. And for both groups, rather pathetic. When my dear friend, DJ, asked me to pick up an eyelash curler for her when she was in her mid 80's, I conveniently kept forgetting. By that time, she couldn't see well enough to use one, her eyelids rested on top of her lashes, she hardly had any lashes left, and the curler could break off the few that remained. I indulged her when she wasted her precious shopping money on overpriced items, but I drew the line at an eyelash curler. Her beautician also indulged her by dying her hair black and styling it in the top-of-the-head bun she had worn since girlhood. She was unwilling to change even though that style revealed her white roots sooner and the elastic band made her thinning hair brittle. Only in assisted living did a beautician convince her to wear it lighter and shorter. Though by that time she was 90, the new "do" made her look years younger. Which was convenient, because, as her memory failed, she thought she was years younger.
     I knew, with my black hair, blue eyes combo, I would gray early. I did not mind the salt and pepper look when I was in my 30's and could describe myself as prematurely gray. But I started coloring it at 40 and am having a hard time deciding when to bring the "maturely" gray hair out of hiding. My beautician has hinted through subtle stories about other clients that it would make me look 20 years older. And she is not just saying that so I will keep using her services. She is semi-retired and charges $40 when most places charge $60 and here in Gig Harbor, over $100.
     Another reason right now would not be a good time to change my stripes is because our one year old granddaughter gets freaked out when her own parents alter their appearance by wearing a hat. I'm afraid she wouldn't recognize me if my hair color suddenly changed. The other reason I keep putting off coming out as gray is that I am afraid of my hair. When the gray grows out, I can't get the roots to lift. In my case, stubborn gray does not mean it won't absorb dye, it means it won't cooperate with styling. The roots are hard enough to work with, a whole head full of the stuff would be a nightmare.
     Due to a knee problem, I joined the ministry of funny walks long ago. I don't know when I will reach the age of wearing unmatched clothes, socks with sandals, etc. But those things go unnoticed under the senior invisibility cloak. If I want to turn heads at my age, I just need to start wearing too much makeup, black hair, or junior girls' clothing styles. The rest of the time, I can relax because no one is looking.