10 Signs You Might Be a Pessimist

1. If you look at a beautiful rainbow and think about homosexual activism, the questionable activities of the Rainbow Family, or an ugly tattoo, you might be a pessimist.
2. If you are always the first person to notice, and mention, dirt or odors, you are probably a pessimist.
3.  If you hear gossip about a good friend and, instead of speaking up for them, assume it must be true, you are a pessimist.
4. If your dire predictions about the economy, politics, gmos, climate change etc. don't come true and you just move on to a new dire prediction, you are an official pessimist.
5. If a woman announces her pregnancy and you begin telling her horror stories about sickness and labor (this happened to me), you are a pessimist.
6. As a matter of fact, anyone who feels the need to share horror stories when someone describes a health concern, is not only a pessimist, but a clueless pessimist. If you respond to a joke about some human foible, like memory loss, with a tragic tale of Alzheimer's, you are proselytizing for the pessimist movement.
7. Same goes for people who, when friends mention a name they recognize, feel compelled to share some sordid tidbit from that person's past, they are pessimists--and gossips.
8. If you chronically listen to news talk radio or television and chronically find new things to be upset about, you enjoy being a pessimist.
9. If you often complain about service in restaurants and stores that others enjoy patronizing, the problem is not them, it's you--the pessimist.
10. If you think of pets (or children) mostly in terms of mess and expense instead of affection, even though you claim to be a realist, you are actually a pessimist.