Dad's Hobby

     I used to think my dad didn't have any hobbies because he doesn't hunt, fish, play games or even follow sports on television. But in later years I realized he does have one hobby--fattening dogs. You've heard of the horse whisperer, my dad is the dog fattener. The medium sized mutt we had growing up remained normal sized throughout my childhood, but Dad's deceased dog, a terrier Chihuahua cross was as round as a football.  My brother-in-law, from a sheep raising family, said the inability to feel any ribs meant he was ready for slaughter. However, to clear up any confusion, that prediction and Mickey's actual demise were years apart. When my sister and I gave our brother a Dachshund mix for his birthday three years ago, Destiny was slightly pudgy at 20 pounds.  My parting words to Rod were, "Don't let Dad make her fat!"  Three years later Destiny weighs 35 pounds, twice her healthy body weight.
     Dad assures me he doesn't feed her that much, but he also tells me how much she enjoys all the scraps he gives her.  When I was home recently, he gave her a full, human sized serving of lasagna. He is one of the few people I know who ask for a doggie bag and actually give the food to the dog. Although Dad tells me how much better he feels after dieting 10 pounds off his 150 lb. frame, he doesn't see any application to his dog. I make it a practice not to tell parents how to raise their kids (ours turned out okay, but I think it was in spite of us) or how to take care of their pets, but I feel like Destiny deserves an intervention.  Dad thinks the reason she slips out of her collar when she is on a leash is that her head is too small.  Her head, paws and tail are the only parts of her body that are the correct size.  When Roddy told me he gives her three "Greenies" treats a day because the bag instructs one for each 15 to 20 pounds.  I said, "Roddy, she is supposed to be 15 to 20 pounds."
    Dad's last name is Neighbors, and I am not my neighbor's dog's keeper, but I would like to kidnap Destiny for two months and hold her at the Lamb's unfat farm until she looks more like a Dachshund than a Polish dog, but I am afraid it would be a temporary solution and Destiny likes things the way they are.  She likes to eat, Dad likes to feed, there is a certain symmetry to the relationship, if not to her body.  Dad could certainly have worse hobbies and there are no 12 step groups for dog fatteners. I prayed for a long time before giving Dad and Rod a dog, perhaps being fat is her destiny.