God and I are seldom on the same schedule. Take my knees. . .if only you could. Because I am relatively young for a knee replacement, because I knew physical therapy is important after knee surgery and because I have exercised all my life, I thought that my diligent efforts would be rewarded by faster healing. It made me feel in control of my recovery. My knees were not aware that I was in control, they thought they were. Exercise has helped me regain strength and range of motion but stability comes on its own schedule. I should have clued in when the skin around my incision turned red and tender, and when the stitches designed to dissolve under the skin decided to fester their way topside instead. I was not in control when both knees sent messages to my brain stem to "give out" at random moments, necessitating the cane I call Qwai Chung--a television reference meaningful only to boomers. I cannot control either the occurrence of damp weather or the accompanying stiffness that invades all my arthritic joints, including the new knee.
There are some things you have to be wearing the knee to figure out. For instance, the new hardware is hooked to the old software, and some of that still hurts. It is possible to stand up and even start walking before your knees know what you are doing, it takes them a few steps to figure it out. As someone who, even at my most coordinated, had all the grace of a wounded water buffalo, those first few steps aren't pretty. I also learned to put function first, then form. It is better to take a stable step flat footed than try to roll from heel to toe and fall down. My knees are in control, I am just along for the ungainly ride. Actually, God is in control. He has decided it is going to be a long ride. I need to accept that. I cannot help having stiff knees, but I can choose not to be stiff necked.
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