When My Turn Comes

    Our parents are facing the dreaded duty of downsizing from their homes of many years. It is a task we will also face someday and I am already not a fan. If it was only deciding what will be needed at the next place we live, that would be hard enough, even if we knew exactly where we were moving to. But when each of those belongings in question are linked to a lifetime of memories, it will be infinitely harder. I have learned that the first thing I will need to discard is the expectation that my children will want my stuff. I already know they do not. My daughter is a minimalist, getting rid of unneeded objects is a lifestyle for her. Good thing we don't live at her house. Tracy was my only sentimental child. He kept a box of favorite childhood toys that is still stored at our house, but I have not had the heart, or courage, to look through it.

   And it is okay that our kids do not want our stuff because the Lord helped me realize that He allows us the ability to collect and accumulate things that please us, for our lifetime. He gives our children, and will give their children, things that are meaningful to them. What people choose to collect or display in their home is a matter of preference, not heredity. There was no genetic reason for me to like retro tins (which I stopped collecting years ago, but well meaning friends keep giving me) and I have is no reason, or even desire, to expect my kids to carry on the tradition. So, if the collection of little girl figurines I bought for Britten's birthdays until her teens brought me pleasure, they have fulfilled the purpose God gave them for. I bought them in honor of my daughter, not for her. 

    When I collected Christmas ornaments for each of my children while they were growing up, I thought they would want to take them when they had homes of their own. I was wrong. Tracy might have wanted his, but could not take them to his home in heaven. Meanwhile, it brings me comfort to hang his ornaments on the little tree we dedicate to his memory at Christmas. Britten does not want her ornaments and, though I haven't thrown them away yet, I also do not put them on our tree. Will did not want his ornaments either, but his wife did, and I get to see them on their tree every Christmas. I now collect ornaments for my grandchildren knowing full well that they may not want them when they leave home. 

    We hope to enjoy our current home for years to come, if only to reap the benefits of recent remodeling projects, so we can kick the can on some of those what to keep/what to throw decisions for a while. But someday it will be our turn to open those boxes in the basement--vinyl music albums, no longer used dishes/bedding/clothing, our kids school work, and various things we kept, not because we needed them, but because we forgot about them. Hard as it will be to let those treasured time capsules go, downsizing is not just to make leaving our home less hassle for our grown children, it is part of our stewardship of the blessings God chose for us. The final part. Among the things I know about downsizing, is that I will not have it down pat, when my turn comes.

    The tangible things I want my children to have, and have already given them (like it or not), are my poetry books. Whether they choose to read them is up to them, but if they ever want to know what I felt, thought, laughed at, loved, those memories live in my books. The legacy I most want to leave to my children is intangible--my trust in Jesus, love for them, attempts to make some days special, and laughter. And I know by the way they serve God, raise their children, and live their lives, they already possess that.