The Only One of Their Kind

    We recently lost a family at our church. Not misplaced lost, left loss. They came to us, along with some other families, after the small church they were attending disbanded. I knew from the beginning that they would not stay. Not that they were unfriendly, thought we were, or disagreed with our doctrine, their family was just the only one of their kind. It is one of those families where the mother is perpetually pregnant, the wife and daughters have long hair and always wear dresses, the husband and sons wear vests and/or ties to church. Their sons are named for Bible characters, their daughters for Bible virtues. The kids had to stay in the auditorium when the other kids were dismissed for junior church. I knew someday the older children would start questioning why they had to do things the other church kids do not. And those questions are still going to come up. I am familiar with the church they are now attending and they are probably the only one of their kind there too.

    There is nothing wrong with the standards they hold to as a family, but there is nothing right about them either--biblically speaking. As a parent who has launched children into adulthood, I learned that everything families and churches add to the simple truth of the Bible is a liability. One preacher I heard called it inoculating our children against the gospel. Adding human requirements to biblical salvation by grace through faith diminishes the both authority of the Bible and the sufficiency of Christ's sacrifice. Asking questions is part of the process of young adults making their family's faith their own. If the answer to why we practice Christianity the way we do is not found in the Bible, parents are left with nothing to say. I have seen three basic responses from these kids when they leave home: Some of them (daughters probably) will practice their faith the way they were raised, others will reject the family standards but keep the Savior, and sadly, some will decide neither the family standards nor the Bible matter and reject all of it.  

    They are a nice family. I hope it goes well for them at the new church they are attending, but I do not expect them to stay there long. The problem with setting the behavior bar "higher" than the Lord does, is that it is lonely at the top. No matter how loving and accepting a church body may be, it is hard for such families to feel supported when they are the only one of their kind.