No Thanks

    Some of the most common complaints that I see in our newspaper's advice column are from people who did not get thanked for gifts. I understand that gratitude is important, not only for Christians, for everybody. Some express anger not just at the thankless individual, but at the person they believe should goad them into gratitude. I tried to teach my children to thank people for gifts, and I assume they do, but since they are in their 40's, my teaching time, much less authority to coerce their compliance, is long over. And I have never believed gratitude only counts if expressed like it was in Napoleon's time, a handwritten note. Technically, texting is a written note, but I also gladly accept verbal thank yous, nods, or smiles. 

    Like a few of the people who send letters to the column, I am also fine with no thanks at all. Of course a thank you seems an entirely appropriate trade in for a present and, if God ever appoints me as his local gratitude monitor, I will make it my goal to teach people that. But a gift, by definition is something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; see also present. And in Bible context, we are specifically commanded to give without expectation of return. Jesus did not refuse to heal another leper, or send his disciples to track down the ungrateful ones, because nine of the ten did not thank him. 

   One particularly crass father of the bride wrote in because some of the wedding gifts were not as expensive as the per plate cost of the reception. The columnist explained that a wedding was not an investment club and he should not expect to cash in on his return. Guests are not required to bring any gifts, much less meet a minimum cover charge. I give for the joy of giving. The gift belongs to the recipient and they are free to return, regift, sell or leave it unopened if they choose. If our pattern is Emily Post, we will expect a thank you note, but if our pattern is Jesus, we should expect nothing in return. God will more than reward in heaven what humans do not on earth. Wasting time keeping score about who sent thank you notes--no thanks.