The personal encouragements God has given me in the months since Tracy died have underscored how deeply I have underestimated Christ's love for me and for those I love, as if God's love is diluted somehow by pouring it out on so many people. And I realize how much I may have hurt Him through the years by thinking He would give up on people that I would not, that He would let those He died to redeem just wander away to destruction, that He loves His children less than I love mine. I do not need to pray to make Christ care about the people I love; I need to pray to make me care about the people He loves.
I know that nothing I do surprises or disappoints God, but I am disappointed to realize, that though I have known the Lord and studied the Bible for 50 years now, how little I have understood the most basic truth--Jesus loves me. It is our nature as sinners to stray, but He does not give up, He does not let go, because it is His nature not to.
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