Looking Back

   For the one year anniversary of Del’s departure to heaven, Reed and I decided to look back at some of the ways his Dad helped us through the years. Many of these examples are moving—literally. 

•   He came to Helena to help us newlyweds set up our first and (thankfully) only mobile home. 
•    He and Sunshine met us in Billings when we finished serving our time in Denver (that's what our last two years there felt like), helped us unpack the rental truck, pack around 8 month old Britten, and move into our apartment. 
•  There was an incident where Del and Dan Bailey drove over in his blue truck to help us, but neither of us can recall where we lived or what we needed at the time. At this time, we need better memories. 
•  When we moved into our first home in Kalispell, I was really thankful Del was there because the rest of the helpers were strangers from the Baptist church we had yet to attend. (One of the helpers dented our new refrigerator.) I was glad to have someone around who wouldn’t judge me harshly for the crankiness the chaos of moving creates in me. As in, "Put this in the small bedroom, and this in the teeny, tiny bedroom!" I hope this wasn't when Dan helped out and/or that everyone forgave me afterward.
  
•  And the statute of limitations that requires parents to help their offspring move had not yet expired in 1997 when we moved into our current home, because Del was there carrying boxes and helping meet my optimistic expectations for all things I wanted to be set up by nightfall.
  

    --He also helped Reed refinish the dining room floor in our Meridian Road home and even had the great idea of putting plastic up to keep sanding residue out of the kitchen. It would have been even better if he had that idea at the beginning of the project instead of the middle. 

   --He helped us with the additional bedroom we added to that house. 

   --He even built a matching playhouse for the kids.

  --When he helped us out November of '96 by watching the kids so I could accompany Reed on a work trip to Orlando, we promised him it would be easy because the kids would be in school all day. As it turned out, after he got to the school, he found out it was cancelled (for a couple days) because of the huge snowstorm. The snow fort the kids built that snow day lasted until April.

   --More recently, the folks came to Butte to help Britten and Luke get their wrecked repo house into livable condition. When we arrived to help there was no running water. Although the mold in the basement sheetrock and insulation held plenty of water and made me want to run--away. 

   --Gluttons for punishment, they came to Butte again for a family “Labor on Labor Day” roofing party. But that time, we assigned Del ground support duty, picking up shingle trimmings, nails and things that fell off the roof.  Because we did not want him to be one of those things.

   --We are still using the end tables, dry sink and china cupboard Dad built for us decades ago. 

   --This is not a complete list. As Reed always says, “Memory is the second thing to go . . . he can't remember the first.”       

     Even when Alzheimer’s robbed him of the competence to help out in the ways he did looking back, his quiet presence at home was comforting--and is greatly missed.