Grieving Places

     Many years ago we grown children and our Dad visited theme parks in Orlando. At places where the background scenery was particularly beautiful, there were signs that said "Photo Spot". Those were, in fact, the only places my Dad was willing to stop and take a picture. Not surprising. Dad would have been perfectly satisfied seeing all of Epcot in two hours. So far this post does not tie in with the title very well. What made me think of Photo Spots is that this is a significant week in the Lamb family. It is the one year anniversary of Del's final journey home, both to his earthly one, and his heavenly one. If life came with labels, this time would be called a "Grieving Place".

     Not that it does not happen other times, but these significant events, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, especially the "firsts" are focal points of memories, whether we want them to be or not. God uses these times to help us heal. As I learned in Griefshare, time does not heal anything, it only lessens the urgency. Healing comes from feeling.  And feeling, both happy and sad, comes from memories. If these "sad-iversaries" are painful, they are also a necessary part of the healing process. I should know.

    Growing up in a home with mental illness, I became very good at stuffing feelings deep inside. So good, in fact, that it became an automatic response to stress in my home, and even after I left home. But feelings have to go somewhere, and eventually that secret place inside me became so full that everything came spilling out. And emotions, no longer attached to the memories that prompted them, make you feel crazy and, in my case, depressed. It took a long time for me to acknowledge that the reason I could not just deal with my past mentally was because the problem was not in my mind, it was in my heart. 

    So I try to help, by a card, email or other tangible way those in fresh grief, like friends at church or my mother-in-law. To know they are not alone. That these grieving places are part of God's plan for healing. That sorrow reflects the depth of the love. And that the same memories that are painful now will eventually give them comfort. Those who have held the rose of love deep in their hearts, must someday feel the thorn.