Love Him or Hate Him

    Whether you love or hate Donald Trump, there are things I believe most Americans would agree on if politics were not an issue. Most citizens expect the right to due process--to know, face and question our accusers. We would probably not feel we should forfeit that right due to a job change, such as becoming president. And I think most of us prefer to believe that if we were accused of doing something illegal that was, for example, recorded in a phone call, that the actual words of the transcript and actions that followed, would carry more weight than the perceptions of our coworkers. Especially if we are their boss. . . and they think someone else should have got the job . . . and they want to get us fired.
    You may notice some vague similarities between this hypothetical situation and the endlessly impending impeachment the Democrats are intent on for two main reasons, besides hating Trump. That goes without saying. The first one reminds me of that scene where the Wizard of Oz tells Dorothy and company to "ignore the man behind curtain". It is hard to convince people who are enjoying the benefits of a good economy and improved national security that they are poor and oppressed. Every good magician uses misdirection. In this case, impeachment is the pretty assistant they want us to keep our eyes on, but the trick is taking too long and the audience is starting to leave. The second reason is that, despite having a huge pool of Democratic candidates to choose from, they have nobody likely to win an election against Trump. Or against the Energizer Bunny. Or Sponge Bob. It is one thing to tell people to ignore the man behind the greater America curtain, and it is another thing to give them someone else to look at. So far most of the candidates who have bobbed to the top of the pool are memorable for doing or saying something stupid.
     Even though I believe Donald Trump has an oversized ego and undersized moral compass, I also believe God has chosen him to lead our country. And I believe, moral compass notwithstanding, he has done what our leaders have needed to do for a long time--support Israel, stop funding U.N. nations who oppose us, quit apologizing like battered women to countries who want to kill us, stop making taxpayers sponsor killing the unborn, honor our Christian heritage, military, etc.
     Whether you love or hate Donald Trump, removing legal rights from the President is a dangerous precedent to set for those of us lucky enough not to hold that office. Since, as impeachers claim, the President is not above the law, then neither is he beneath it. His right to due process is long overdo. And we ignore rights at our peril, because reaping what you sow is God's quid pro quo.

A Million Thanks

     Acceptable manners have changed a lot in my lifetime. My Grandpa never went out in public without his straw fedora hat. Conversely, he never wore one inside the house. Now men wear hats everywhere. Even my 92 year old Dad now leaves his cap on in restaurants. The men of my household leave their hats on during dinner, although the spare sons who lived with us didn't. But for them, eating at a dinner table was a rare and almost sacred experience. When the woman cutting my son's hair asked how he styled it, he said, "With a hat." When she asked how he wore it with his hat off, he said, "I'm asleep. It doesn't matter." From the old TV shows I have watched women, too, wore hats in public, but keeping them on inside, even/especially in church was good manners. There are a few churches that still require women to wear head coverings although the cultural significance these had in Biblical times has been unknown for centuries in the U.S. And it is still etiquette in England to wear hats for formal occasions like weddings. Hat rental shops still hold sway in the U.K.
     But this post is not about hats. It is about how acceptable manners have changed, except in the area mentioned in the title--Thanks. The lone hold out against the evolving etiquette of our time is the humble thank you note. Even though we can now communicate by phone, text and email, it seems the only acceptable way to thank someone for a gift or service must involve a piece of paper and a stamp. Hipster households might be hard pressed to locate a stamp much less know where it goes on an envelope. Why have polite requirements for showing gratitude remained stationery? I don't know, but our local paper's advice column has complaint letters almost weekly from disgruntled "thank-less" givers. Don't get me wrong, gratitude is important, it is the expectation that everyone must do it the same way they did in Napolean's time that gets under my skin. Why can't the same people who insist we address both members of gay couples as husbands and lesbian couples as wives, get over snail mail? Is the USPS secretly bribing the manners police?  The fact that manner's guru Emily's last name was "Post" would be more than enough evidence of collusion to impeach her if she had ever become president . . . and was not deceased.
     So I guess this is my complaint letter about complaint letters--politeness is not measured by postage. If there are a million things to be thankful for, perhaps courtesy can condone more than one way to express it.

From Heaven to Birth

    I wanted to write a poem about Christmas, but the concept is both too familiar and too grand for me. Instead, I have written this prayer:

Lord,

There is nothing new for me to say about Christmas. I have no words different or better than those of the prose and poems and hymns of others. I have only amazement that the Son of God chose to enter humanity through the door of Christmas, to remain forever in human flesh. Amazed that in inscrutable grace you chose conception in the womb of a young woman whose only qualification for the job was willingness to obey the Lord she loved. I am amazed that you chose to be born, not in a palace, nor even the simplicity of a peasant hut, but in a stable, surrounded by animals. I'm amazed that you chose as your first worshipers the unwashed outcasts of the working world--shepherds. That of all the people on the earth, they were chosen to see and hear the praise of angels. And if angels praised this event which made no change at all in their status before God, what should I do whose salvation depends upon it?

All I can do is read the accounts, sing the carols, and echo the praises of those who believed before me. And to marvel in the miracle of a Savior who chose to be Emmanuel, God with us. The door from heaven to birth that you opened at Christmas, remains open for all you have inexplicably chosen for spiritual birth. Even I, who am often unwilling to obey, and love many things more than you. And would be totally unwilling to become a helpless babe again, or be born in a stable, or reach out to unwashed outcasts. All I have to offer is amazement and wholly inadequate praise.

Things I Wish I Knew Before

I wish I knew my yeast was too old before I made homemade, low-rise rolls for Thanksgiving dinner.

I wish I knew spray-on root color has the same texture as regular spray paint, that never completely dries, before I applied it.

I wish I knew the Diet Coke I had with my dinner would cost $4 before I ordered it.

I wish I knew that you can't (or at least I can't)  match the pattern of ombre yarn when you add a second skein, before I started the baby blanket.

But most of all--
I wish I knew that keeping the heated seat on for most of a 10 hour drive can result in discomfort much like a mild sun burn, before our trip to Seattle.

How to Become a Pessimist in 10 Easy Steps

1. Notice when your negative predictions come true, but not when they don't. After all, you can't keep track of everything.
2. Tell worst case scenarios to people who are already discouraged. Consider it a reality check.
3. Deflect encouragement from others. They probably don't mean it.
4. Call your negativity realism. All pessimists put "Realist" on their name tags.
5. Forget God's past faithfulness. Focus on an unknown future
6. . . . and on politics. That's always uplifting.
7. Fill your mind with us vs. them news talk or sermons. It feels good to have your opinions validated.
8. Remember all past injustices done to you. It is not a sin to have a good memory.
9. Justify your own past offenses. God's grace has got those covered.
10. Share negative things about others. It's not gossip if it's true.

I Wish I Was My Husband's Cell Phone

    Sometimes I envy my husband's cell phone, not because it is an I-phone versus my Samsung, but because:

•      He has not looked at me with that much intensity since our honeymoon.
•      He is always attentive to its call.
•      He enjoys stroking it.
•      He recognizes when it needs recharged.
•      He feels lost without it.

     However, there are also reasons I would not want to be my husband's cell phone, such as:

•      Close examination would reveal how much I have changed since our honeymoon.
•      In order to be constantly attentive, he would have to be constantly under foot.
•      I do not always enjoy being stroked, and especially being swiped. 
•      My husband and I do not get recharged in the same way.
•      Every wife, at times, wants her husband to get lost.

     
     





   

Connie's Condensed Christmas

     My husband and I have now traveled to Seattle three times in six weeks. Before the third, and I desperately hope, final installment of contract work here, I realized that we would be getting home two days before Christmas. That meant I had one week to:

•  finish shopping for and wrap gifts
•  mail a package to my brother's family in Alaska
•  have Missoula gifts ready for daughter to deliver
•  decorate the house
•  buy food for both Christmas Eve fondue and Christmas dinner 
•  deliver gifts to our pastors, two of whom will be gone when we get back
•  make peppermint bark for staff at the pharmacy where I take blood pressures weekly
•  make and decorate sugar cookies
•  deliver cards and visit with friends in care facilities                                                  

     I am an annoyingly organized person. I was one of those students who had all their end of semester homework done early, as in, I had no one to hang out with finals week because everyone else was studying. But being gone for a week right before Christmas was an organizational stretch even for me. I had to decide which elements of our Christmas traditions were most essential. When the kids were at home, I fixed six kinds of cookies, three kinds of candy, Chex mix and egg nog for the holidays. Now that it is just Reed and I and Tracy, who has stopped eating sugar, we decided to pare it down to three essentials--sugar cookies, rosettes and almond bark. Rosettes are the best of both worlds--fried and cookies, but they don't keep well (which I didn't know until the kids left home), so I'll make those after we get back. Almond bark will only take minutes to make. But cutting out and especially, frosting, sugar cookies takes time. I had drafted my daughter for that duty, but she had to cancel at the last minute. Fortunately, Tracy was planning to repair the car of a widow from our church and, because she can't drive at night, he was going to her house to pick it up. I told him to invite her to come with him to our house for food, fellowship and frosting. After all these years of decorating them the same way, it was wonderful to have fresh ideas to go with the fresh cookies.
     My home decorating theme was twofold--minimalist and safe. Safe for, and from, my two year old granddaughter. I hung wreaths where she couldn't reach them and unbreakable ornaments where she could. Reed and Tracy strung lights on the fence, but not on the house. Thankfully, someone bought an "As seen on TV" Star Shower light projector for a gift exchange years ago, and we wound up with it. It's much easier to turn on lights than string them. Reed and I were willing to forego a real tree and use our quick and easy fiber optic ones this year, but Trace both wanted, and was willing to water, a real tree.We had neither the time nor the inclination to go out and cut one, the latter due to disastrous attempts at this when our children were young. Since those culminated with buying one at a tree lot anyway, we decided to just skip to the end. So we bought a tree. It was the right price, height and circumference, however, the branches are so spindly, I can only hang "lite" ornaments on it. Fortunately, the lights are lite.
     It is an interesting challenge to separate the trappings from the truth of Christmas. Traditions add to the beauty and anticipation of the season, but all we really need for Christmas is Christ. All any of us ever need is Jesus.
    
    

Homeless Haven

    If I were homeless, I would much rather be in Seattle than Montana. Seattle's winter low temperatures are Montana's highs. But beyond that, Seattle has a reputation as a homeless haven. The homeless camp in public parks and in upscale neighborhoods. The waterfront has more beggars than fish. The needle exchange program designed to protect drug addicts from contaminated syringes has exposed thousands of non-drug users to disease from carelessly discarded needles. Not to mention the contamination from urine and feces in public areas and, frequently, public restrooms. Which is why I'd rather hang out in a hotel than sightsee in Seattle.
     I think most of us support community services that give the poor a hand up when they find themselves homeless through circumstances like medical bills, broken automobiles, broken homes or job loss. Although there are many jobs available for those willing to work. People in those circumstances are homeless by necessity. The problem is those that are homeless by choice. Some would rather sleep outside on a frigid Montana night, than comply with the curfew or sobriety requirements of a shelter. I recently learned of a mentally ill young man who left the warmth and safety of a shelter because they would not let him smoke at the time he wanted to. Instead, he was hanging around our community services building waiting for someone to find him a place to live. He exercised his right to leave with no intention of taking responsibility for finding new housing. Mentally ill people do not make good decisions. Neither do addicts. So, much of the money allocated to help people get back on their feet, goes to those who have limited ability to, or no intention of, doing so. Homelessness is becoming a crisis. Cities that used to be tourist meccas have become unsafe and unsanitary.
     There is no easy fix to this problem. Those who abuse the free services in one city can simply move to another. Eventually, there will be a taxpayer uprising. Property owners in places like Seattle are going to be reluctant to pay high taxes in neighborhoods overrun by squatters. Communities will run out of resources. Police are already refusing to risk death entering homeless encampments. Meanwhile, even though it will hurt some who genuinely want to change their circumstances, we need to cut back on providing tiny houses, tents and sleeping bags, the kind of perks that promote a haven. Because those who choose to make our hometown their homeless camp, claim their haven at the cost of ours.

10 Signs You Have Stayed in a Hotel Too Long.

    

1. You know which rooms to choose to get the most sun.
2. You nickname one of the elevators, in this case, "Old Squeaky".
3. You bring clothes you don't even plan to wear because, at the hotel, you'll actually iron them.
4. You no longer need the TV channel guide.
5. You have a favorite stall in the lobby rest room.
6. Ditto for parking spots.
7.   "      "    tables in the breakfast area.
8. You track days of the week by the breakfast selection, especially "bacon" days.
9. Your computer auto fills the room number for internet access. 
10. You have time to write a ridiculous number of blog posts--like this.