You Know You've Gone to the Dogs

You know you've gone to the dogs when:

• You congratulate yourself on how well you cleaned the house and there are still 3 squeaky toys, 2 bones and a rope on the floor.
• You set aside plastic bags that will be good for poop scooping. Hotel laundry bags are my favorite.
• You examine chew toys like a parent buying their child's first band instrument. Is it strong enough to survive my "children"? even if it gets left outside? How annoying is the sound it makes? 
• You have a heated dog bed. In our case, our bed, heated by the dogs sleeping under it.
• No matter how often you vacuum the carpet, the dust cup is always full.
• You keep an old towel near the back door for paw wiping. 
• You can no longer get down on the floor for any reason, including unconsciousness, without playing with the dogs.
• You are willing to risk the dogs ruining your furniture while you are gone rather than leave them outside in the mud.
• Your balance exercise is stepping around and over the dogs.
• Your visual acuity test is spotting a black dog asleep on the floor in the dark. 
• You answer the door by saying "Just a minute. Down! Quiet! Get Back!", then open it a crack so the dogs won't get out . . . but by now your visitor doesn't want in.