Monday, September 30, 2013

Words That Should Exist

longage--If there is such a thing as a shortage, why not a longage? When our cat Maynard stretches out in the sun, there is definitely a longage of cat.

backage--If there is frontage, there must necessarily be backage.For instance, the same realty ad describing a home with gorgeous river frontage, may forget to include the gravel pit backage.

smartfounded--The opposite of dumbfounded.

combobulated--No one knows what discombobulated really means anyway. It probably happens to people who are dumbfounded.

ept--This one I heard on a sitcom long ago, the opposite of inept.

dubitably--We don't need this word, there are plenty of synonyms, but it would be fun to say.

impotential--The likelihood (as opposed to the likelisweater) that your newly elected official will not keep his campaign promises--or the unlikelihood that he will.

distresso--Spilling your cappuccino in the car.

detextive--A person who recognizes and deletes texting errors before sending.

overflush/underflush--We have a dual flush toilet, push the small button for number one, the large button for number two. Occasionally I get them mixed up, there should be a word for that.

lethalize--Legalizing murder. See abortion. Sometimes mistaken for euthanasia.

superpceed--Being so concerned about offending a minority that you wind up offending the majority. For example, renaming Christmas Winter Holiday so as not to offend the tiny percentage of Americans who claim to be atheists.

tolera-bull--Being offended that other people are intolerant.

omnibore--Someone who shares boring facts on every subject.

goozle--Coined by my son, a combination of gush and ooze, used to describe the head of a whole roasted pig.  As in, "The eyes goozled out."

 






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