I am fairly certain that I'm a woman of a certain age, but what I want to know is if I'm old enough to be excused. When do I get to blame my faults, failing memory and figure flaws on my age? Is 57 old enough to blame for my lost figure, looks and car keys? Can I hold my age responsible that I gained weight, wrinkles and age spots? I don't mind the ravages of time as much as the implication that it is my fault I got ravaged. If I just worked out more, ate healthier, bought better cosmetics etc. I, too, could look like the aging models in the magazine ads. Never mind that at my youthful best I didn't look like those models at their aged worst, it is my fault if I look my age.
I workout. I lift weights--me. I do resistance exercise, it's called gravity. I'm not a couch potato. I'm a potato that's down on the floor exercising. Still, the best I can manage is to be firm under my fat. I try to eat healthy. I actually like fruits, vegetables and whole grains. However, I do not follow the ever changing food and fitness fads. I have lived too long to believe that ordinary foods are toxic or that some newly discovered food or exercise will transform my body.
And frankly I can't afford beauty. I have indulged in facials that removed the red from my skin and the green from my wallet. While they tightened my facial muscles, they loosened the ones gripping my credit card. For those who can't afford, or spell, an aesthetician, a less expensive alternative is to buy expensive beauty products and apply them yourself. But this is only slightly less expensive. There are now hundreds of anti-aging products created just for those of us in the boomerange, designed to erase the traces of both time and our bank accounts. Besides, there is no point having my face write checks that my body can't cash, and vice versa. I have seen some of these lifted, tucked and tightened women and they look, at best, unnatural and, at worst, like mummies. Excuse me if that sounds inappropriate, but I am 57 after all.
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