The Thorn

     I have often wondered how believers made it through life before the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It must have been lonely. The way I usually receive guidance from the Spirit is by quiet impressions in my heart during my daily Bible study. He illuminates the parts I need to pay attention to in the way a blind person taps their white cane to know what lies ahead and which way to go. Today He was not quiet. This morning on my way to work I was listening to James McDonald on the radio. That's about the only time I hear him, 15 minutes, twice a week, on my way to work. Today he talked about humility and how God had given Paul a thorn in the flesh to keep him from being arrogant about the great revelations God had given him.  I laughingly told the Lord, "I've had migraines for all these years, and I'm still arrogant." Moments later the thought came clearly into my mind, "That is not your thorn in the flesh, your thorn is your mom."
     I knew it was the Spirit's voice in the same way I knew He was right. I just knew. That motherless child void within me has kept me small inside, at times, even broken. And it is that brokenness that has made me merciful to other broken people. It is that depth of sorrow that keeps me from settling for a shallow life. In that moment of mutual consolation, I found myself saying, "It's okay, I understand.", accepting the thorn.