If you believe that King James English is inspired regardless of the content, stop reading now. This post is not making fun of the Bible, I love and respect the Bible, it is simply a story written in antiquated language.
Now the coming of the oven was on this wise. One the eve of the Sabbath, the mistress of the house saw that the supper was not brown and savory as in past times. When she stretched out her hand, she felt no burning heat coming from the Negev of the oven. She called for her husband who rent it asunder to take the broken piece unto the repairer of ovens. "This part is still whole," the laborer proclaimed. "Good," the mistress said in her heart,"I shall seek a new oven".
The mistress wandered the wilderness of Lowe's seeking assistance, because she knew not of ovens with less than three score years. Bill, a seller of ovens for many years, shewed unto her one whose burning heat came from winds hidden within it. The mistress longed for the oven and told it unto her husband. "Buy it in haste." he said, for it was of lesser price than many of its kind. "It will be delivered unto thee in one week," sayeth the seller of ovens. But this displeased the mistress for she had much food to prepare for the coming Feast of the Nativity. So her husband proceeded with haste to Lowe's to bring the oven back with his own conveyance. When the mistress returned from the singing of carols at the Christian school, lo, the oven was in her house, and she was filled with joy.
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