Gone to the Dogs

     Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone. Oh where oh where can he be?  I remember that song from my childhood.  I don't remember where the dog turned up in the tune, but I know where the dogs are now:  at the craft show, the concert, etc.  I have a dog and thoroughly enjoy his company at home or going to the island for walks where he can explore, sniff and pee to his heart's content, but Garth is no connoisseur of the finer things.  I wouldn't consider taking him to a concert, even before he went deaf, because he has no discernible appreciation for music.  Neither is Garth interested in art or craft shows.  He is a dog.  If I took him to those venues he would sniff, pee (or worse) and growl at other dogs because he is a dog and that's what dogs do.
     But I have noticed that in increasing numbers other people are bringing their dogs to these crowded, public events.  An outdoor concert is no longer an opportunity for humans to enjoy music, summer and nature at the same time, they have become an adult show-and-tell.  Apparently a pet themed show-and-tell.  One man staged a mini performance by standing up and putting his dog through a series of commands.  Most of the showing off is more subtle.
     Last weekend I attended a large craft show where a doberman (who knew they could be aggressive?) started after one of the many little mutts in attendance.  The owner gave it an earnest tongue lashing and threatened to leave it in the car.  Why didn't she do that in the first place?  What part of the craft show did she think the dog would enjoy?  Last night I was at a park for an evening concert when I smelled a noxious odor and then noticed a dog walking past.  No, it had not gone or worse in the near vicinity, that was just the way it smelled. It was definitely the most aromatic of the many music loving dogs at the park.  In past years at the concerts it was requested that dogs be left home because running children + dogs =  biting incidents and the parks department didn't want to be sued.  Also dog + dogs = barking, growling, fighting and dogs + grass= poop.  Unless these animals have remarkably strange home lives I am sure the owners have noticed this pattern of behavior. 
     It would take rather extensive/expensive training to teach a dog to pee (or worse) only on command, get along with all other dogs and never growl at running children not to mention teaching them music/art/craft appreciation.  It might be easier to train people to enjoy all dogs, stepping in poop and being growled at or bit but I have come up with an even simpler solution--take the dog to places where he can sniff, pee and other things he enjoys or LEAVE THE DOG HOME.  This country is not going to the dogs, the dogs are being chauffeured there by their owners. If you want your dog to appreciate culture, feed him yogurt or better yet, let sleeping dogs lie.