Results Not Typical

     I'm sure there is a rule of grammar somewhere that says not to start an essay with the word because, however now that I started with the phrase above, that rule no longer applies since it will be in the second sentence.  Because we live in an age of litigation (brought on by an overabundance of lawyers, and the fact that the only elected officials capable of restraining them are also lawyers), we also live in an age of disclaimers like the title above. Disclaimers provide the legal loophole that protects a company from lawsuits if their product does not do what their advertising so brazenly proclaims it will. And as oxymoronic as it sounds, we also live in a age of gullible cynicism (or cynical gullibility if you prefer).  On one hand some people are cynical enough to believe that there is a vast conspiracy among thousands of independent physicians, many of whom became doctors so that no one could tell them what to do (and to get paid to tell other people what to do) to hide the benefits of certain health products, on the other hand those same people are gullible enough to buy products proven only by anecdotal evidence.
     The reason we believe that pills will burn away our fat, a special diet will prevent cancer or a topical cream will remove cellulite is because we want good health and looks--as long as it is easy.  To quote X-Files, we want to believe.  Advertisers know that given a choice between cheap and easy the public will choose easy.  Advertisers choose easy also; producing scientific evidence for the effectiveness of a product is hard, finding someone willing to appear on TV in before and after pictures is easy.  Slapping a "Results Not Typical" disclaimer somewhere on the ad is also easy.  Their toned, cancer and cellulite free butts are covered.
     Products which have been scientifically studied, even FDA approved, have even more disclaimers.  The prescription drug touting its health benefits on one page of a magazine is followed by two pages of warnings of possible side effects--like death.  Looking at the picture in the ad is easy, reading two pages of side effects is hard.  Learning the name of the drug to ask our doctor for is hard enough, we can't be expected to read the small print too.  Besides, if there is a problem, there are also plenty of ads from attorneys hunting for people who have been harmed by medications.  Working to earn and save money is hard, suing your way to wealth is easy.  Fortunately it is also easy to read this blog and reading it will make you smarter and better looking. 

Results Not Typical