Dog Proverbs

   On Facebook I have recently written two proverbs inspired by our dog.  The first is: Don't walk deaf dogs at dusk.  I experienced this first hand having been thoughtful enough to invite my dog for a brief walk at sunset.  When the dog can't hear you and neither of you can really see each other, you aren't necessarily on the same walk.  It all turned out okay, we both wound up at home, but why put yourself through needless frustration?  The second proverb is : Dogs who have dined on departed deer are constant companions.  I knew something was wrong when I emptied my doggy bag from the restaurant into Garth's dish and he didn't immediately gobble it down.  (He waited five minutes.)  Then I noticed his belly was as round as a Shetland pony's and gurgling.  Obviously he had sniffed out a decaying deer on the island near us and had eaten his fill and then some.  Garth sleeps on the floor at the foot of our bed so I had all night to listen to the melodious gurgling, panting and farting noises coming from our dog.  The time awake was useful for planning how I could remove deer gut stains from our new carpet if the need arose. 
    As miserable as the deer meat made him, I knew Garth would happily go right back and eat some more, so all day I yelled at him when he tried to escape out the front door.  And all day Garth followed me from room to room as I moved around the house flatulating magnificently--a mobile fart machine.  Now that his belly is no longer distended and "Venison Vengeance" isn't wafting from his behind, Garth is happily spend his time in unoccupied rooms. There is no dog as faithful as an unwanted one--maybe that will be my next proverb.