No Thanks

    Some of the most common complaints that I see in our newspaper's advice column are from people who did not get thanked for gifts. I understand that gratitude is important, not only for Christians, for everybody. Some express anger not just at the thankless individual, but at the person they believe should goad them into gratitude. I tried to teach my children to thank people for gifts, and I assume they do, but since they are in their 40's, my teaching time, much less authority to coerce their compliance, is long over. And I have never believed gratitude only counts if expressed like it was in Napoleon's time, a handwritten note. Technically, texting is a written note, but I also gladly accept verbal thank yous, nods, or smiles. 

    Like a few of the people who send letters to the column, I am also fine with no thanks at all. Of course a thank you seems an entirely appropriate trade in for a present and, if God ever appoints me as his local gratitude monitor, I will make it my goal to teach people that. But a gift, by definition is something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; see also present. And in Bible context, we are specifically commanded to give without expectation of return. Jesus did not refuse to heal another leper, or send his disciples to track down the ungrateful ones, because nine of the ten did not thank him. 

   One particularly crass father of the bride wrote in because some of the wedding gifts were not as expensive as the per plate cost of the reception. The columnist explained that a wedding was not an investment club and he should not expect to cash in on his return. Guests are not required to bring any gifts, much less meet a minimum cover charge. I give for the joy of giving. The gift belongs to the recipient and they are free to return, regift, sell or leave it unopened if they choose. If our pattern is Emily Post, we will expect a thank you note, but if our pattern is Jesus, we should expect nothing in return. God will more than reward in heaven what humans do not on earth. Wasting time keeping score about who sent thank you notes--no thanks.

Buffet Service

      One of the restaurants we patronize here in Wichita offers a buffet on weekends. But it does not seem like an offer, it sounds more like an order. Do you want the menu or THE BUFFET?!! In the case of the restaurant we went to Saturday, it was the tail end of buffet time and most of the food looked mummified. The wait staff are not looking out for our best interests, they are looking for theirs. If we order the buffet, the waitress will not have to actually wait on us, except when it is time for the tip.

     Hotel housekeeping has become like that. You don't really want us to clean your room, do you?! We are staying in this hotel for three weeks, they shouldn't even want us to go that long without service. It is warm and humid in Wichita, if we left the air conditioner off, we could grow pot in our room. It is also a pet friendly hotel, we could start a three week doggie day care. Room cleaning was one of the early casualties of Covid. Hotel staff were protecting us by staying out of the room. Now that most of the world realizes Covid is not the cosmic death ray we were warned about, social distancing and mask wearing are considered overkill. (See how cleverly I worded that.) 

     However, housekeeping has not recovered from Covid. When you check into a hotel, cleaning is offered as if it was a time share presentation. You don't really want this, do you? Maid service has become the self serve buffet of hotel amenities. Personally, I never refuse an offer of cleaning services. I wish it would happen at home. I bring no great gift, and certainly no enthusiasm, to the world of cleaning. Every hotel I have stayed in has a fancier method of making the bed than I do. It helps that I know a little Spanish, and Google knows the words I do not. For instance, I have just learned that the command form for the verb vacuum is, aspirare. I am hoping the maid will take that as an order, not an offer. I am not here for the buffet.

 

You Were Here After All

    I finally found the words for feelings I've had since we got to Wichita. 

 

 

You Were Here After All 

 

I wondered why we miss you so much

 here in Wichita, a place you have never been,

then I remembered you were, 30 years ago.

You were eight, it was our family's first trip

with Reed watching over a plane--

Tulsa, Dallas, then Wichita.

And so, you were here after all. 

 

We were in Wichita again two years ago

for work, this time for training.

The one year anniversary of losing you

happened while we were here.

We shared your stories, welcome or not,

with a couple of classmates at dinner.

You were here that night after all.

 

And now we are in Wichita again

for work, of course. Who would visit

 Kansas in the heat of summer?

A mechanic here competes lifting weights.

This time, we spoke about your strength.

No wonder we've missed you so much,

you were here with us after all. 

 

You are always with us, after all. 

 

 

7/30/25 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Herman Who?

      Although I have not had a formal study of Hermeneutics, I have learned a lot through "sermoneutics." Every pastor I have listened to developed his message using its principles of Bible interpretation. So what does this Herman guy offer as tools to understand the Bible? Here are some of the principles.

Context:

Biblical--What is the subject of the verses before and after this passage?

                Does it harmonize with other teachings of scripture? 

Historical/Cultural--What was life like at the time in which it was written?

Literary--Who is the author? What is his background? What was he trying to convey? 

Grammatical--What do the words used mean in the language in which it was written? How would the people of that time understand this passage?

 

We use the same principles to interpret other kinds of literature besides the Bible, Shakespeare for instance. But these tools are only really useful to those who take the Bible as the literal Word of God. Those who believe it is of human origin and/or merely symbolic can leave hermeneutics out of it entirely. But for my personal study, I add my own monkey wrench to Hermen's toolbox.

 

Real estate--How much space does it occupy in the Bible?

 

    The Bible is, of necessity, brief. The real estate within its pages is very limited. Adding full details to a book covering from the beginning to end of time would make it really heavy to bring to church. Instead of reading through the Bible in a year, we would be lucky to get through it in a lifetime. So when the Bible repeats itself or expands on a concept, it is significant. For instance why does Genesis repeat And there was evening and there was morning for each day of creation? Probably because the Author knew some smarty pants evolutionist was going to try to make the days of creation mean millions of years. However, a million year night would kill off everything created in a million year day and vice versa.

    I have just come through a study of Revelation where not all the members believe the 144,000 witnesses are Jews. Then why would God waste four verses of His Bible saying 12,000 and name each specific tribe? (Rev. 7:4-8) He did not say 144,000 Jews. He did not even say 12,000 from each tribe. If He took up precious Bible space with the names and numbers from each tribe, it must be because this is a literal description. Even those who believe the church has replaced Israel do not claim specific tribal affiliation. Except the Mormons, who think they are lost tribes of Israel, but none of their beliefs are based on the Bible. 

    Why describe the timeline of the tribulation as 7 years if it is an indefinite period? Why break an indefinite period into two 3 1/2 year segments? Why double down on the numbers by converting 3 1/2 years to 42 months and 1260 days? From Revelation 21, why waste the 27 verses on a detailed description of a symbolic New Jerusalem? Why would we need to know a symbol's dimensions? The Bible leaves out far more than it puts in, therefore everything written down is something we need to know. There is symbolism in the Bible, but when it gives a really detailed description, that is probably not symbolic. 

    God knows his target audience has a short attention span, that is why He gave us 10 commandments, not 110. When I was in college, I often had to spread two paragraphs worth of information into 7-10 page essays. Ever since then, I have been a word miser. Why use three when you can say it in two? Therefore, when God uses more than seem strictly necessary, I pay close attention. With apologies to Hermen and his eutics I will continue to interpolate real estate into my Bible interpretation.

     

  

 

 

 

Mary Moments

     Every Christian experiences "Mary moments," as in Mary's song, or Magnificat in Luke 1:46-55. Times when you realize--Who am I that I should be so favored, chosen by God? for salvation? for service? I believe this recognition of our insignificance, our powerlessness, is essential for salvation. We would not believe we needed it otherwise. And I believe this humility is essential for God to use a believer in any significant way. Although it is a mortal mistake to try to add to God's word, it is also a mistake to assume that the people in it went decades of their lives without speaking to one another just because it is not recorded in scripture. I believe Rebekah told Isaac that Jacob was to receive the birthright. How lousy would your marriage have to be not to mention this message from the Lord to your husband, the only person who could bestow the birthright?

     Moses is another example. Although there are no verses that say his parents told Moses about God's plan for him, Acts 7:25 says that Moses knew about his role as deliverer and thought the Israelites would understand that when he killed an abusive Egyptian. Moses grew up being schooled in the wisdom of the Egyptians, he spent his next 40 years in God's school of humility. God did not want to use the son of Pharaoh to deliver his people, He wanted to use a shepherd. 

    Humility is not required, however, for God to use unbelievers. Pharaoh's plan to oppress the Hebrew slaves, is what eventually made them willing to leave Egypt. His plan to wipe them out at the Red Sea and God's miraculous deliverance, is what made other nations unwilling to attack them as they wandered in the wilderness. In cases like Pharaoh, the more boastful the better. And in our time, I believe God is using our president to work out many of His purposes for our country, Israel, and the world, but I'm fairly sure even Trump's best friends would not describe him as humble.

     The Bible has many examples of God using people like Mary, Moses, Gideon, shepherds, fishermen, tax collectors, etc. who thought they had nothing to offer. And they were right to think that. But they did not stop there, stuck in their own insignificance. Like Mary, they let God use them. Asking "Who am I?" shows us our need for spiritual birth. After that, we spend the rest of our lives discovering--Who is God?

 

Scholarship Presentation

     We have had a scholarship fund set up in Tracy's memory at the Helena College of Technology since a few months after he died. Tracy found out about most of the scholarships he received by going to the business office to complain about school expenses. Judging by the small number of scholarship applicants we have had, we assumed aviation students weren't finding out about ours either, so we had posters made. We had planned to present them to the school for display in the shop and classrooms at graduation. Those plans changed when another aircraft mechanic student died 2 weeks before graduation. The new plan is to give an actual on-the-calendar presentation about the scholarship to the new students September 12th. Reed graduated from the school in 1979, when it was still called Vo-Tech. I thought it might encourage the students to hear from someone who has made his living as an aircraft mechanic for 46 years. Reed seems willing to share. I'll try to cut him off before he gets to the part where he says it's not worth it, auto mechanics earn more money and don't have the liability.

    My part will be to talk about Tracy and the scholarship. Here's what I'm planning to say:

 

    Let me tell you something about Tracy's life before we get to the scholarship. As an adult, Trace turned out to be a natural mechanic, able to take something apart and instinctively know how it works. But before that, he was an "unnatural" mechanic. In his teen years, his goal for his vehicles was to lift, lower, and make louder. Mufflers were optional. Running well was optional. He could have 4 cars in our driveway and nothing capable of getting him 4 miles to work. Despite that, his friends would bring their cars to him for repair or to install a stereo. Often, after the stereo install, their car would not run. Tracy's explanation was usually--bad carburetor. 

   Later, he got much better at fixing mechanical problems, but developed a drinking problem. A lost relationship caused things to spiral out of control until he was finally willing to go to rehab at Rimrock in Billings. Something so remarkable happened on the drive to Rimrock, I want to share it briefly. By that low point in his life, Tracy doubted everything about his previous faith in Christ. Somewhere between Townsend and Toston, we pulled over on the shoulder of the road so our very anxious son could pace and smoke. He said, "I will never believe in God because I can't see Him and He can't see me." I prayed for the Lord to show Trace that He is real and He is good. At that very moment a car pulled up behind ours on the highway. The driver said he was on his way to a meeting in Helena when God told him to turn around and go talk to us. He encouraged Tracy and prayed for us. Tracy said, "I will never doubt God again because of what He did for me today." God is real. God is good. We wanted you to know that, too. 

    That does not mean his path to sobriety was easy. He had to leave rehab early because of some health problems and went back a year later. Let me give you this warning--Don't ever make your mother need to pray that God will make you physically unable to drink alcohol! After a few years of sobriety and helping his Dad at the airport, Tracy decided to get his A&P license at the same school in Helena that his Dad went to decades before. He did very well in school besides working more than full time as an auto mechanic. Tracy helped bond his classmates together by creating Hawaiian shirt Fridays and, when it was too cold for that, Fez Fridays. Yes, the kind the Shriners wear. One of his memorable moments at school was when he started a plane here that hadn't run for years. There were no instructors around, and one of his classmates was a pilot, so that guy got in and Tracy hand propped the plane. It started. Another warning--Students are not supposed to do this! Even if they have been trained by their mechanic Dad. He also called Reed between classes to fact check his instructors. They probably did not appreciate this, but they did like his help mentoring other students. Trace had already done things the other students were just learning about. 

   Trace traded classmates auto repair for math and composition repair so he could get his associate's degree. He wrote a sales presentation for his fictional product, "Hempbestos," a combination of hemp and asbestos. His paper to persuade was to gather believers and their assets for a new cult he was forming, where Inner Infinite Existence could be achieved by diving from 10,000 feet altitude into volcanoes. He even got an A on his paper documenting why writing class was a waste of time. But we don't consider it a waste of time. Having his sense of humor written down on paper brings joy when we are sad.

     Tracy paid his own way through school. When he would go to the office to complain about the cost, they would tell him about a scholarship he could apply for. He got a lot of them. That is why, when friends wanted to do something in Tracy's memory, we set up this scholarship. After 6 years of being off drugs, Tracy died of fentanyl poisoning March 22, 2022, 6 weeks shy of graduation. His plans for the future were to get his pilot's license and start a mobile aircraft repair service. God's plans for him were different . . . and better. And He prepared both Trace and us for his early death by giving him years of sobriety to regain his self-respect and the respect of others. And his time here let him excel in a school that finally measured his true intelligence. 

      In Tracy's memory, I published a book on Amazon. It is a combination of my grief journal and the poems I wrote to cope with his death called, Lament of the Lamb. I have brought a few copies to give to anyone here who lost someone to fentanyl or another tragedy. There was another tragic death in last year's aircraft mechanic's class, a young man named Nevin Kelly died in a car accident 2 weeks before graduation. Reed and I would like to give this year's donation to Tracy's scholarship fund in memory of Nevin Kelly. (Point to picture. Intro family if there. Display poster.) We had these posters made so students could learn about Tracy's scholarship without having to go complain to the business office. 

   Tracy loved tools and is still deeply missed by several Snap On salesmen, so Reed brought some tools for you students if you are interested. And please come to me if you are interested in a Lament book. Thank you for letting us share today.

     

Growing Delight

      I shared a brief version of this idea on Facebook. Here is the longer version.  

 

Growing Delight 

 

I know it will not last, 

my grandchildren will outgrow me, 

not only in stature,

though that will happen soon enough. 

I've lost an inch of my meager height already. 

 

My grandchildren will outgrow me 

through new friends and interests. 

But for now, I watch them run,

 eager and smiling, toward my front door 

as if a great delight awaited them.

 

 I glimpse heaven's joy foretold

in the looks on their faces.

That is what the Lord will see  

when I enter heaven's door,

the look I will see, when He welcomes me.

 

And there, I will continue to grow,

not beyond my Delight, 

but growing more like Him.

Eager, smiling, running toward the Lord. 

And it will last forever. 

 

7/23/25 

 

 

 

 

 

Boy, Was I Wrong

    Long before my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I knew that the odds of getting it were high for men over 60. I thought it affected about 1 in 4 men. Boy, was I wrong. The actual percentages for men are: 

Age 60-64 years: 28%

        65-69 years: 54%

        70-74 years: 81%

        75-79 years: 91%

        80-84 years: 95%

 

Race and family history play a part in the percentages, but those are still scary statistics. Reed's cancer eventually became aggressive and required medical intervention. Fortunately, most prostate cancers are slow growing and may require little to no treatment. But, with numbers like those above, it is no wonder urologists tell men they will likely die with prostate cancer, not of it. The fact that most people now live longer is a mixed blessing--though we have more years to watch our families grow, the odds of developing diseases like Alzheimer's and cancer also grow. 

   There are dozens of online sources promising some commonplace food or practice can prevent, cause or cure disease. And there are thousands selling supplements they claim will prevent or cure cancer or some other serious illness. The faces of the proponents come and go (ironically, sometimes from cancer) but another voice with another product always steps in to take their place. The bottom line for Christians is, health guarantees are not for this life, they are for the next one. Long or short, life on earth is inevitably lethal. Even for those blessed to be taken up in the rapture, whether they are healthy or hanging by a thread, those earthly bodies are not the ones they have in heaven. 

    Enoch and Elijah did not die but they did not get to remain on earth either. And that should not be our goal. God expects us to be stewards of our bodies, not keepers. The world does not understand this, and we Christians sometimes forget, that we are not to spend our years on earth in pursuit of more years on earth. We are here to tell others about heaven, and how to get there. Male or female, young or old, the number of people who die is 100%, and being spiritually prepared for that reality is a statistic none of us can afford to get wrong.

The Hangar Was the Place

    Reed and I recently celebrated our 48th anniversary. Through all those years Reed's life has been linked to airplanes, and I have been along for the ride. Some of the journey has been smooth sailing, some has been bumpy. The descent toward retirement has definitely been the latter, certainly for Reed, but also for me. After weeks of waiting for inspiration to write a poem, the one that emerged is this lament. A lament for the hangar, and all the good parts of Reed's career that it represents. 

     The Hangar Was the Place  

The hangar was the place:

for dozens of summer, Friday barbecues

and winter chili feeds,

for inviting other flight departments--

a family, who shared tools, parts, advice

and a thousand funny stories.

 

a hang out for retired pilots

(often at the request of their wives), 

student pilots enticed by the aroma of jet fuel, 

a refuge for exasperated, aviation loving

employees from the main office.

 

for plane spotting out the windows,

the endless drone of aircraft

(some of it, from the pilots mentioned above),

but with a wealth of wisdom from those 

who knew and flew them.

 

where, except for a short squall of rough air

from a new employee trying to import

the petty rivalry from his last workplace,

the pilots and mechanics worked together

as equals, as a team.

 

of a harmony that was not touchy/feely,

polite, or politically correct, 

just men with a job to do

who knew lives depended on 

how well they did it. 

 

of a temporary home for aerial fire fighters,

air shows, a few political rallies,

our daughter's wedding reception

our son's memorial service

and an occasional playground 

for our granddaughters. 

 

The hangar might have been the place:

 

of mentoring a less experienced mechanic

from one with decades of service

managing a wide variety of aircraft

and running a widespread flight department,

including overseas.  

 

but instead it became

an unwelcome place, 

hostile to the host 

who had welcomed so many there. 

of petty rivalry, penny pinching and closed mindedness

in a field where such folly can be fatal.

 

And as happy as I am that my husband

no longer hangs out at the hangar

just for the joy of being around airplanes 

and is finally willing to retire, 

I am also sad because

the home of so many of 

my own happy memories

is now just a hangar--just a place,

when it once was so much more. 

 

 

7/11/25