In a Pig's Ear

    I have never understood the expression in a pig's eye, which means, I don't believe what was said. Pigs' eyes do not seem particularly skeptical to me. The expression is similar to horsefeathers which, come to think of it, I do not understand either, but I don't want to get bogged down in a study of phraseology. In a pig's eye turns out to be a polite euphemism for something that would normally be found in a pig's rear. Before changing it to eye, the original term both was, and rhymes with, crass. Speaking of rhyming, a pig's rear rhymes with my title for this blog. 

   The reason this all fits so seamlessly together is that I am writing about giving our dogs, as a special treat, dried pig's ears. We had to go to the farm store that Saturday anyway and pig's ears were on sale, 3 for the price of 2. After consuming those, while we were sleeping, the dogs gave us, as a special surprise, something normally found in a dog's rear. Our older dog was gracious enough to leave her surprise in the garage, in a mostly solid form. (The garage restroom is a bad habit that began when an inept dog sitter left the dogs alone in the house 14+ hours at a time.) The new dog left his tummy troubles in our bedroom in a form so pungent it woke me up at 2:20 a.m. Sunday morning. A quick look by the light of my cell phone revealed cleanup was going to be a two man, two hour job. On a positive note or, to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, borrowing our daughter's razoo carpet cleaner the next day inspired us to shampoo most of the main floor carpets, which was overdue anyway.

    When it comes to doggie diarrhea location is everything, so Mykah remained free on her own recognizance, while Kase got to spend the remainder of that night in his kennel. Having enough objective, and objectionable, evidence that our dogs cannot digest dried pig ears, we will discard ear number three. And should we ever want to try the experiment again, it will happen when pigs can fly.