I Expected Five

  

     Every day when I open Facebook there is a memory from years past that I can see, but won't be on my news feed unless I share it. I enjoy the look back, but I seldom share. However, I posted yesterday when this picture from ten years ago of Will's Montana reception came up. Because so many of his Montana relatives and friends were unable to attend his wedding in Steamboat Springs, we held a reception a month later in Kalispell. I don't remember what the friend we drafted as photographer said to get us all laughing, but I am so glad to have this picture. It made me smile. It made me sad. Bittersweet, like so much of life since Tracy died.

   I expected our family of five to grow as our children married and had children of their own. I expected it to shrink as Reed and I met our appointments in heaven. But I thought our family of five would be together longer. I expected five. It didn't seem like too much to ask. 

   Of course, God is under no obligation to meet my expectations. And since, for most of my life, He has immeasurably exceeded them, I have no right to complain. A few days before we found out Tracy died, we were taking his dogs for a ride in the car, a custom Tracy started and we tried to continue while he was in college. We were driving through an older neighborhood on the south side of town. Properties where even the junk cars filling the oversized lots do not decrease the value of the older houses sitting on them. I remember telling the Lord maybe Trace could get one of these places after he finished school. Then He spoke into my mind, Is that as high as your hopes for Tracy go? That surprised me, I thought I was being realistic. Little did I know that Jesus had Tracy's mansion ready for him to move into, and he did two days later. 

   With spouses and grandchildren, our family here in Kalispell now numbers 9, 10 counting January's coming attraction. And when I add extended family, church family, and friends in other places, the number grows exponentially. God's plan for Tracy, for our family, was not what I expected, but He met the deepest desire of my heart--I know we will be together forever in heaven. I expected five, but He will give more than I could ever ask.