God and Gandalf

     I have posted only a few of the messages the Holy Spirit has given me through these months of difficulty with our son. The rest are recorded privately elsewhere for my own remembrance and contemplation, as if they were love letters from the Lord--which they are. Sometimes the words come to me unasked, so foreign and unflinching that I know they are God's and not my own. But there have been other times when I have asked for guidance, then wonder if the words that come into my mind are the Spirit's or mine. But lately, as Reed and I face the possibility of moving, I know exactly where these latest words originate--Gandalf, from "Lord of the Rings".  It is the scene where Gandalf is trying to get Bilbo to show him his mysterious ring, the ring the whole trilogy is about. Gandalf says, "I am not trying to rob you, I'm trying to help you."
     I know there is a a lot of symbolism in "Lord of the Rings", but I am really bad at symbolism. However, I do not need to understand symbolism to know why the Lord is hammering this message into my mind. I have been thinking about moving as if God was trying to rob me of blessings, when in truth I know, even if it is not what I want, He is trying to help me. Why would the God who has disproportionately blessed me all these years, suddenly turn against me? God is no robber and it is slander against His character to think so. It is also hurtful to the One who has so faithfully loved me.
     When our son's addiction and all the accompanying chaos began, I told the Lord I needed him to be as real to me as the things I could see, hear and touch, that I needed specific guidance, and He has been faithful to provide it. But when it came in the form of words, it was a little too real for this Baptist raised, God-only-speaks-through-the-Bible, Christian. When I talked to my pastor about my confusion about whether the words were from the Spirit or my own thoughts, he reminded me that the source was not the measure, the message was. As long as the words aligned with scripture, I should heed them. It doesn't matter if these latest words are God's or Gandalf's, the message is clear--the God who loves me is not trying to hurt me, He is trying to help. This is not the first time God has had to pry my hands off a good thing so he could give me something better, so it is only reasonable to trust Him. Thanks for the reminder, Gandalf.