Cat Scan

      For most of the past twenty five years, we have had a two car garage and a two cat house. We did not plan it that way, but wound up with one main cat and one emergency backup cat. They comprise our home security system. Before having cats, we did not even realize the malicious nature of inanimate objects around our home. Our first cat, Annie, saved us many times by attacking walls whose hostile intentions had gone completely unnoticed by us.  Cisco, our second guard cat, focused mainly on threats outside the house. He would flit from bush to bush in the backyard, all the while evading enemies totally invisible to us. Our only clue to their presence was the poofiness of Cisco's tail after having survived an encounter.
     After Cisco died, we got Sola, who has shown no aptitude whatsoever as a protector. As a matter of fact, we sometimes wonder if Sola is something we should be protected from. She has emerged from her standoffish, serial-killer-stare phase to an I-headbutt-you-because-I-love-you stage, which makes us almost as nervous. Just what parts of us does she love? We named her Sola because she was the only survivor of her litter, but began to suspect that she may have had something to do with that. Sola is our current emergency backup cat.
     Our main cat is Maynard. He loves us--intact and inedible. Maynard has often saved our lives by wrestling doormats into submission. We unwittingly brought the mats into our home to protect us. A tile entryway and wet shoes are not a good combination. The worst threat we could imagine from a doormat was being a trip hazard. But Maynard sees the mild mannered mats for the malevolent creatures they are and has to subjugate them almost daily.
    It amazes us that people who lock their doors, wear seat belts, and buy smoke alarms are willing to live in a house without cats. Who will alert them to the domestic dangers that roam their home disguised as innocent, inanimate objects?  For a truly safe house, there's no substitute for a cat scan.