Environmentalwist

     Sometimes I wish I was an environmentalist because:

1. The smoke from "natural" sources like forest fires would not make my throat and head ache. I would only be bothered by man made emissions but, as a friend pointed out, that would be most of the time.
2. I could drive an electric car without worrying about the huge carbon footprint of producing the battery or the fact that, in an accident, it might electrocute the emergency responders and/or negate the term-- survivors.
3. I would be willing to pay more "green" for less efficient green energy sources, as if electricity was produced by rubbing fairy wings together and hydrogen is sucked from the atmosphere through a magic straw.
4. I could use lawsuits to destroy the economies of logging communities and still sleep soundly at night in the house logging provided for me.
5. I could jet to conferences all over the world to read mounds of papers on global warming and not recognize the irony.
6. I could protect fish from the erosion produced by logging so they can choke to death from the erosion produced by fires.
7. I could restore balance to the ecosystem by introducing an unlimited amount of predators.
8. I could protect animals from the cruelty of hunting so they can be eaten by the above or die of starvation.
9. I could work to designate more wilderness areas so fewer people will have more places not to enjoy.
10. I would be too busy supporting environmental causes to have to support my fellow man, which is okay because humans are the only species I would consider intruders in earth's ecosystem.