Dear John

Dear John,

       Don't worry, we are not breaking up, we're just finished for the summer. This is probably the fifth time I have studied John in BSF. I have no idea how many times I have read and studied it in my 45 years as a believer.  It was your book they were studying at the youth group my brother drug me to, where I explored the Bible for the first time. It was that Truth that trumped the man made rules of the Mormonism I had been raised in. It was that Light that showed me the darkness of my own self-righteous heart. It was your way of presenting the Savior that showed me the Way of eternal life.
     And it was your blatant admission of your purpose in writing John that got it black-listed from my Humanities class at the university. Too biased to be credible. In truth, it was only biased in the wrong direction.  And it was through studying John my reluctant, first year in BSF that, in a time of great hopelessness, began to lift my depression. And this year, in desperate need of direction and encouragement, I have searched your book like a starving man seeks sustenance. I was willing to settle for crumbs but you gave me a feast. Thank you for your biased viewpoint.
     A recurring theme I got from this year's study, was the warning not to judge reality by preconceptions. Over and over, the Jewish leadership rejected Jesus because he didn't keep their version of the Sabbath and sought out sinners instead of Sanhedrin support. Their made-up minds not only caused them to miss recognizing their Messiah as he performed miracles right under their noses, but to murder him. I, too, have preconceptions so thanks, John, for the warning.
     I also needed the reminder in the crucifixion account that no matter how out of control things appear to be, God is still sovereign. After his death, Jesus had no way to make sure his legs would not be broken, his side would be pierced, where he would be buried. He trusted God's sovereignty just as we must. Thanks, John, for not just telling us what Jesus did, but who he was and why knowing that matters eternally. When life gets in your face, your gospel provides face time with Jesus.

                                                                      We are NEVER breaking up,

                                                                                                            Connie

                                                                                             

                                                                                       
                        

    

Tangled Web

     "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." I am a terrible liar. I do not mean I am a terrible person because I lie. I mean I am terrible at lying. For one thing, lying requires a way better memory than I have. Keeping track of things that actually happen is hard enough without adding things that didn't. So my recent experience with deception was a good reminder of why I don't lie.
     It began, like the the road to hell, with good intentions. When my daughter told me the baby shower for my first grandchild would be the same weekend as a ladies tea at church, I was relieved. Seven years earlier, those same good intentions put me on the planning committee for the church tea. I found myself helping out at the first tea because I felt sorry for the planner, who was trying to do the whole activity solo. Good intention--help her organize and simplify. But she is the kind of person who does not want to be simplified. She is the kind who has great, last-minute ideas and wants last-minute volunteers to help make them happen. The other thing about her great ideas, is that she tells you they are your ideas. And you are now responsible for carrying them out. So it was with great relief that I bowed out of this year's tea to attend the baby shower in Helena. Good intention--no hurt feelings.
     Then the date changed. If I told Last Minute Lucy that I would be in town, I would either have to make "my" unwanted-stepchild-of-an-idea happen, or I would have to tell Lucy why I didn't want to serve with her. OR I could just not tell her that I wouldn't be out of town. It was cowardly. It was deceptive. It was easy. All I had to do was skip the tea and not mention the shower until after the original date. Then came the tangled web. This year's tea was part of our mission's conference, which I would have attended, but couldn't because I was supposed to be out of town. I could have gone to Missoula on Saturday to make the part about being out of town true, but I had just been there for an appointment on Thursday. I skipped a mission's conference to support my deception. By all rights the Lord should smite me. And I should be easy to find. I'm right here--tangled in this web.

30 and Counting

     Thirty years ago today, I was in the hospital meeting my new baby boy. Today I was in the hospital with the same son, but this time, he is the patient. What did he get for this milestone birthday? Surgery. This was not a deliberate plan, it just happened to be the first date available for the removal of his adrenal cyst. Sick and tired of being sick and tired, he was willing to forego a special birthday dinner for clear liquids and the chance of feeling better sooner.
     I thought last year's birthday, when his on again/off again wife was no longer part of his life, would be the worst ever. But a few of his friends came over for steak and his 29th turned out tolerably well. And, who knows, over the course of his lifetime, even this year's birthday may not seem so bad. Many things can happen in life that are far worse than surgery.
     When Tracy was born, I counted his fingers and toes, making sure all was as it should be. In the following years, I counted on him for many things. I could count on him to love our family traditions and vacations, to help with projects on the house and yard, to see me in all my frailty and not use it against me. And I am counting on many more things in the years to come. I am counting on God to make that happen, because He is the one who makes sure all is as it should be.
     
     

Whatever Happened To ?

     A frequent sidebar when I am on the internet is a link to one of those "Whatever happened to. . ." websites. Though I try not to waste time pursuing them (because I'm already wasting time writing or looking at Facebook) I admit that I'm tempted to see how the child stars, teen idols, & sex symbols of my formative years turned out--or burned out. Hoping, of course, that those that didn't drink or drug themselves to oblivion, will have the good grace to look older and flabbier than I am. But the nearly famous I have been thinking of lately are Jesus' brothers. We know of the faith of two of them, because they are published authors in the New Testament--James and Jude.
     James appears to be Jesus' nearest sibling according to the order of names in Matthew 13:55. I have thought a lot about James. As brothers, James should have been Jesus' faithful supporter. It should have been James, instead of John, that Jesus entrusted the care of his mother to while on the cross. But apparently, James was not there to receive the responsibility. I think guilt over his failure is the reason Jesus made a private appearance to James, as he did to Peter, after his resurrection. (1 Cor. 15:7) By unbelief, James had betrayed his own brother. But we know by his epistle that James came to fervent faith and became the early leader of the Jerusalem church. Sorry Catholics, but if the early church had a pope, it was James, not Peter.
     Jude, who may be Jesus' youngest brother according to the list above, also wrote an epistle.While James' letter was about persecution and practical behavior, Jude was warning about false teachers that had already invaded the church. Neither brother used their earthly relationship to Jesus as a claim to fame, instead, they described themselves as his bondservants.
     That leaves two brothers and at least two sisters unaccounted for. Whatever happened to Joseph (Jr.) and Simon? I have no doubt that they, also, came to faith. I cannot imagine that Jesus would let his own earthly parents spend eternity without the company of all their children. That is a parent's greatest fear. This is one of those cases where I remind myself that the Bible leaves out far more than it records. There is no further record of the brothers, just as there is no mention of the death of Joseph, but that does not mean their lives were unimportant to God. No life is unimportant to God. When we get to heaven we can click on that sidebar, take the seminar or ask them in person, "So, what happened. . . ?"

Sometimes I Trust God

Sometimes I Trust God

Sometimes I trust God

in the warm afterglow of 

intimate worship.

And sometimes I trust God

with the resignation

of someone who has lost a battle

and has no other choice.

At other times I trust God

with the grim determination

of a fighter about to enter the ring.

Lately, I trust God 

with a tear in my eye

and a tear in my heart

from bending my will to God's.

Mostly, I trust God
out of mindless habit
accustomed to the company of my King.

But, in the end,
whatever my motive
the best way I can honor God
is to trust Him.

All We Wanted Was Our Country Back

  

    Yesterday was the inauguration of our 45th president, Donald Trump. His win was a great surprise to the liberals who had believed their own propaganda about Hillary's overwhelming victory. The conservatives were also surprised, but by the childish, almost third-world reaction of the losing party who refuse to be "Trumped". So on behalf of the deplorables, let me explain what happened. All we wanted was a president who:

•       Put American interests before global ones.
•       Supports an economic system that offers greater opportunities to the laborer than the lazy, and understands the goal is to create wealth, not redistribute it. 
•       Knows our prosperity isn't something to apologize for. We didn't steal it. We built it.
•       Calls terrorism what it is, and not "workplace violence".
•       Does not apologize, like a battered wife, to countries who attack us, as if we provoked them.
•       Recognizes that Israel is our one friend in the Middle East, and the only nation on whom God has placed his blessing.
•       Knows that we cannot placate enemies who want to kill us.
•       Respects the principles upon which this country was founded.
•       Understands that disagreement is not hatred, bigotry or oppression.
•       Remembers that citizenship is a privilege, not a right, and should go to those who respect our culture and our laws.                                               

     Yes, many of us, most of us, wanted someone wiser, more humble and less vocal than Donald Trump. But anyone old enough to vote, is old enough to know we don't always get what we want, especially in elections. Whoever our choice might have been, God is sovereign, so we must accept and support the president we got.  And all we really wanted was our country back.

4 Days Dead

    We just studied the raising of Lazarus in BSF and I have been thinking a lot about those four days Lazarus was dead. Not wondering where his consciousness was all that time, or how he felt at being called abruptly back to earth. There is no knowing that til heaven, but I plan to attend that seminar. My thoughts have been with his sisters and the other mourners. How bleak those four days must have been. It looked like Jesus didn't care, like God was doing nothing at all, like hope was dead. But all the while Jesus was waiting for his Father's timing. And, in the end, the miraculous raising was all the more glorious because of those four days.
     So, in my rush to see my prayers answered, I may be trying to rob both myself and God of greater glory. Not to mention robbing myself of the peace I could have by trusting God while I wait for His answer. I will try to remember, when my prayers seem to have fallen into dead space, that I might just be in the four days phase.