Shaping Up

   The running gags in the later decades of our marriage are that when people ask how long we have been married, Reed tells how many years, but adds, 50 with the chill factor. Mine is that I am giving him 50 years to shape up or I'm out of here. We are joking of course, when we married at age 20, we knew we were in for a life sentence. But actually, after 48 years of marriage, Reed has begun to shape up. I think part of the reason is because he is cutting back at work. I cannot really call what he is now doing retirement, if I tried to throw a retirement party for him, he would probably be too busy to come. Reed is working on airplanes as much as ever, just different airplanes, and in different hangars. The other change is, now that he is no longer a director of maintenance, in charge of both aircraft and hangar, he has begun to notice more things involved with our home/hangout. Fortunately, he is not one of those husbands I had been warned about who retire and decide to become the household manager and "improve" how his wife has been doing things for decades. It is more that since jet maintenance is no longer the continual subroutine playing in his brain, he has begun to notice other things. 

   Things like--the dishwasher needs unloaded. He was always willing to unload it when I asked or when he heard me doing it, but he never noticed it on his own. He has not only learned where most things go, but sometimes puts them in a more logical place than where I was putting them. Similarly, he always helped clear the table after dinner, but it was mostly a one trip effort. Then he would wander off to do something else regardless of how much was still on the table. Now he keeps at it until things are put away, even at holidays when, in the 40 to 60 minutes to it took me to get leftovers put away and clean up the kitchen, our guests had finished visiting and were ready to leave. I like feeding people, but getting to hear what is happening in other people's lives, feeds me. After everyone said goodbye and left our recent Easter dinner, Reed went into the kitchen to finish cutting the meat off the ham bone, load remaining items in the dishwasher, and hand wash the roaster and pans. This is usually my least favorite part and he could tell I was tired from all the food prep the previous day.

   Another way he is shaping up is the discovery, after 48 years of marriage, that Reed knows how to vacuum! He actually does a more thorough job than I do. When he was working, I was lucky if Reed made it home in time to set up chairs and tray tables for our twice monthly 7 p.m. small group. Now he tries to leave the airport at 4 so he will have time to vacuum before setting up. Who knows what hidden talents I may discover about my husband in the future?

   Our 50th anniversary will be in June 2027. Plans for it depend on what kind of shape my ankle is in since it is difficult to travel without walking. After our anniversary, Reed will have to revise his chill factor joke to 55 years, but I am not going to raise the 50 year deadline for him to shape up. Whenever and wherever we choose to get out of here for that milestone, we will do it together.