The Imperfect 10

    When I was in Bible college 100 years ago, I learned the attributes of God. Exactly 10 attributes. To this day I have a hard time thinking of God's attributes apart from those 10. There are, of course, many more that could be listed and, for convenience's sake, some lists are as short as 5. In a kids' chorus, the 10 commandments are called the Perfect 10, That is how I think of my mental list of attributes, the Perfect 10. But if I was making up a god to believe in, as Christians are often accused of, those would not be the attributes I would pick. My list would be the Imperfect 10.

    For one thing, I'd get rid of the omnis:

 

1  Omnipresent--God present everywhere, always with us. Sounds nice until I realize there are some places I go I do not necessarily want God with me. I prefer Semi-present. With me when I want Him, and not when I don't.
2  Omniscient--all knowing. I want a god that has lots of knowledge to share with me and guide me but, like the above, there are times I wish he didn't know what I was thinking and doing. Semi-scient is good enough for me.
3  Omnipotent--all powerful. I definitely want my god to have the power to protect our planet, me in particular, and control the chaos created by our wacky world leaders, and Satan, who is on their advisory boards. But I do not want a god who can control me. Semi-potent does not exactly roll off the tongue, but I think the idea would catch on.

    That takes care of the first three on my list. Now let me see:

 

4    Sovereign--God is in control of all things. Since sovereignty is dependent on the omnis above, reducing them to semis would make this attribute Sovereign-ish. Since there are so many Christians doomscrolling things to worry about, that is how many believers think of God anyway.

5    Just--Boy do I want to see justice done. But to others, not to me. Better make that one Just-ish too.

6    Love--I'll keep that one to counteract some of my god's more stern attributes. Let's make this one Omniloving.

7    Merciful--that's a keeper. I like receiving mercy, have mixed feelings about giving it, though. How about Me-erciful?

8    Eternal--I am not terribly interested in how long he was around before I showed up, but I do not want a god who could die or wander off to some other part of the universe, so I-ternal sounds good.

9    Immutable--God does not change. I do not want anything to change god, except perhaps me. Many people talk about "My Jesus" as if Christ comes with a customizable upgrade option. My god would be I-mutable.

10  Holy--There is nothing that makes me feel more removed from God than His holiness. To be not only free from sin but wholly good is beyond my powers of imagination. But this is also the attribute that makes me realize I have no right to create my own Imperfect 10.

 

So Many Rainbows

So Many Rainbows

 

I have seen so many rainbows 

here, from our front deck,

the leaves of the Russian olive trees

bordering our neighbor's yard

gilded by the setting sun,

the deep blue twilight in the east,

showcasing the spectrum.

And yet, I do not overlook

this commonplace miracle,

God's bow in the sky.

And those who claim it for their cause

should know it is a symbol

both of promise, and of judgment.

Rainbows belong to God.

 

Though the pictures I take

appear much the same, 

still I stand outside on the deck

getting wet. Nor will I choose

to forfeit such views

to shelter indoors from the rain,

as long as the rainbow reigns.

8/21/24

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There Comes a Point

     My Bible study the past few weeks has been in Joshua. Yesterday was his farewell address. One of the questions was--What is the difference between hearing about the Lord and personally experiencing His good works? My answer--Second hand information never has the impact first hand experience does. This has been especially relevant to me as I have had opportunities in the past few months to comfort  grieving couples. The Lord has given me one outstanding experience, sending a stranger to encourage us as we took Tracy to rehab eight years ago. And He has given me many personal encouragements and guidance both before and after Tracy's death. As meaningful as those have been to me, they have little impact on others in grief. 

    For one thing, I cannot comfort them regarding heaven because they sometimes don't know their loved ones' spiritual state. However well-intentioned, false comfort is no comfort at all because only truth has the power to set us free. So I share the verses that have meant the most to me:  Ps. 139:16. Job 14:5 God chooses our time of death. Those verses remove the what ifs, if onlys, and guilt from our grief. Rom. 8:35-39 about not being separated from the love of God is wonderful, but those verses are comfort only for believers. So what is an encouragement for those who are not sure if their lost loved one belonged to God? John 6. 

    Through our experience on the road to rehab, Tracy lost his doubt that God saw him and I knew, at the very least, that God was reaching for him. I had no doubt whatsoever that God would hit what He was aiming for. But, for some reason, God feels the need to repeat what He is trying to teach me at least three times and that is where John chapter 6 came in. When we came home from that trip, there was a  note in the mail from my Dad. Dad is constantly getting freebees from charities hoping to guilt him into donating. Some of those guilt gifts are cards. They were seldom really useful cards, but he used them to cover things he was planning to mail anyway. I don't remember what was enclosed in the card, but the verse on it, probably unnoticed by Dad, was John 6:37 Everyone whom my Father gives me will come to me. I will never turn away anyone who comes to me. That means every person the Father chooses as a love gift to His Son will come to Christ. Not unconsciously or against their will, God does not work that way, but He has a way of bending our will so that we freely choose to believe in Jesus. After Tracy died, my prayer group gave me a heart shaped stone with Tracy's name on one side and John 6:37 on the other.

    Second reminder was verse 39, And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. Jesus will never say, "Oops, I dropped one!" For my third reminder, part of the next day's sermon was--you guessed it--John 6. Specifically vs. 44-47 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up on the last day. It is written in the Prophets, 'they will all be taught by God.' Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. I am putting some of this in bold type for emphasis, but it is hard to know where to stop. Those the Father draws--will come, those who come--have eternal life, and will be raised up.

    I understand the doubt, especially about those we led to the Lord ourselves, or who were saved at a young age. Tracy was only four when I led him to Christ. We doubt whether they understood, our own ability to explain, we see them struggle later in life, we wonder if what happened was just our own wishful thinking. Fruit is important, but I realized recently that there are no passages in the Bible where Lot's decisions showed any degree of righteousness, and yet 2 Pet 2:7 describes him as a righteous man. There are many parts of our loved ones' spiritual lives that we do not know about, just as they do not know everything about ours. If believing they are saved seems too good to be true, that's because all salvation is. I understand not wanting false assurance, and clearly not all of those we love will be in heaven, but there comes a point when doubting their salvation experience becomes doubting God. And I doubt we want to do that.

                                                                                               

                                               

 

  

   

    

   

I Expected Five

  

     Every day when I open Facebook there is a memory from years past that I can see, but won't be on my news feed unless I share it. I enjoy the look back, but I seldom share. However, I posted yesterday when this picture from ten years ago of Will's Montana reception came up. Because so many of his Montana relatives and friends were unable to attend his wedding in Steamboat Springs, we held a reception a month later in Kalispell. I don't remember what the friend we drafted as photographer said to get us all laughing, but I am so glad to have this picture. It made me smile. It made me sad. Bittersweet, like so much of life since Tracy died.

   I expected our family of five to grow as our children married and had children of their own. I expected it to shrink as Reed and I met our appointments in heaven. But I thought our family of five would be together longer. I expected five. It didn't seem like too much to ask. 

   Of course, God is under no obligation to meet my expectations. And since, for most of my life, He has immeasurably exceeded them, I have no right to complain. A few days before we found out Tracy died, we were taking his dogs for a ride in the car, a custom Tracy started and we tried to continue while he was in college. We were driving through an older neighborhood on the south side of town. Properties where even the junk cars filling the oversized lots do not decrease the value of the older houses sitting on them. I remember telling the Lord maybe Trace could get one of these places after he finished school. Then He spoke into my mind, Is that as high as your hopes for Tracy go? That surprised me, I thought I was being realistic. Little did I know that Jesus had Tracy's mansion ready for him to move into, and he did two days later. 

   With spouses and grandchildren, our family here in Kalispell now numbers 9, 10 counting January's coming attraction. And when I add extended family, church family, and friends in other places, the number grows exponentially. God's plan for Tracy, for our family, was not what I expected, but He met the deepest desire of my heart--I know we will be together forever in heaven. I expected five, but He will give more than I could ever ask.

We Miss Them

    It was such a simple post on a friend's Facebook to evoke so many tears. It seems like sometimes tears are stored there in my emotion Cloud account, waiting for enough provocation to fall. The picture was just a couple sitting side by side, his with the angel wings. Susan lost her husband months ago, years perhaps, probably even before we lost Tracy. A cynical Christian might see the wings as bad theology, people do not become angels. But for those of us who don't get our theology from Facebook, wings are shorthand for showing which person died. The wife's picture says, I miss you. The husband's says, I know. There are days, hours, minutes where the loss and longing are stronger, the emptiness harder to ignore, the plan of God harder to accept. For me there is a battle between my beloved logic, my confident faith, and my hurting heart. So from that simple post, this simple poem.

                   We Miss Them

 There are so many reasons not to want them back

                here on Earth with us --

                the sin and suffering of this world,

                the splendor of heaven,

                the certainty that we will see them again

                and never be parted.  

    

 But none of that changes

               the ache in our hearts,

               because we miss them.

               We miss them.

                       8/14/24

A Thief in the Night

    Long before the Left Behind book series about the Rapture that was so popular in the 1990's, or the Left Behind movies starring actors we've actually heard of like Kirk Cameron and Nicolas Cage, there was a 1972 film called, A Thief in the Night. I remember watching it at a youth group gathering our church teens were invited to in Spokane, Washington. The concept of the Rapture was new to me, actually all of the teachings of the Bible were new to me, but the idea of the Rapture was the most exciting. And frightening. I hadn't yet graduated from high school, the tantalizing taste of independence had almost reached my tongue, and I wanted it. I wanted to buy my own car, have my own place, and someday, fall in love. I am sure by today's standards, A Thief in the Night is a low budget disappointment, but the reason I am thinking about it now, after all these years, is because it was mentioned three times at our friend Jeff's memorial.

    The first speaker was Jeff's friend from the Navy, later to be his best man, Bob. Bob went to a showing of A Thief in the Night, was convicted of his need for Christ, and got saved. He took Jeff to it the next night, Jeff was convicted, and got saved. Troy's youngest sister was the next speaker. Troy had taken her to the movie, she asked Troy some questions afterwards, and she got saved. Three people at one service who were saved by watching a two and a half stars Christian film. 

    My own bittersweet memory of the drive back to Montana with our pastor, was telling him how much I liked the movie and him saying, "They wore too much makeup." Apparently, he did not notice the dramatic depictions of prophesied end times events, he thought the movie was about cosmetics. I'll bet he was amazed and, I hope, embarrassed, when he arrived in heaven and found people there who put their faith in Christ through a movie where the actresses wore too much makeup. That must have been as surprising to him as--a thief in the night.