Plucky

     Our Malamute cross dog has long, thick hair that needs constant grooming. Tracy used to brush him every other day. Baldr didn't like it, but Tracy was his alpha, he had to cooperate. I have so many memories of Tracy on the floor brushing Baldr, flipping him to his other side like he was a Maltese instead of a Malamute, and rolling the hair into balls before throwing it in the garbage. Reed only manages to work brushing Baldr into his schedule every other week, and he rolls the dog to his other side as if he was a Malamute, not a Maltese. Baldr will not let Reed brush him as long and hard as Tracy did, Reed is more like Baldr's beta than alpha dog. I do not brush Baldr at all, when I try he just gets up and leaves. In Baldr's dog pecking order I am probably the omega. But I like to sit on the floor, and Baldr likes to snuggle up with anyone sitting there, so we do have one on one time. The problem is, he perpetually has a lot of loose hair available for the plucking and I just can't resist the urge to pull some out while I am petting him. Eventually, I am 90% plucking and 10% petting. Reed does not like to sit on the floor, but he likes the dogs, so every night he gets down on the floor to pet them. Baldr on one side, Mykah, our emergency back up Husky, on the other side and, not to be left out, the cat gets on his lap. Now which human do you think Baldr would rather sit with, the person who is constantly plucking out his hair or the one who just pets him?

     Somehow, this reminds me of our spiritual gifts. One of my friends at church has the gifts of administration and teaching. These are very helpful in her many responsibilities at church, but they are harmful in many of her relationships because she is constantly telling people what to do. She considers it teaching, but eventually, what she is teaching is not how to serve the Lord, but how to satisfy her. In other words, plucking. Although teaching and organizing are her God given gifts, those are not her God given roles in every situation. Sometimes God just wants us to enjoy each other's company. My gifts are mercy and hospitality. Mercy is good. When Moses asked to see God's face, God twice identified Himself by his attribute of mercy (Ex. 34: 6,7) But throughout the Old Testament God demonstrates that there is a time for mercy and there is a time for judgment. Mercy, at the wrong times, is not a good thing. Like my friend, I need to recognize when not to exercise my gift lest I pluck away some of the discipline God is using to mature someone else.

    A few years ago I noticed that our strengths and weaknesses are just different ends of the same spectrum. Now I am beginning to believe that the downside of most, if not all, spiritual gifts is not knowing when to pause them. To stop plucking. The downside of the gift of exhortation is thinking we must also do the convicting. That is the Holy Spirit's job. When we do it, it comes across as fault finding, and plucks the hearer further away from both us and the Lord. Service is good, unless the person with that gift does everything herself because she thinks no one else will do it right. This plucks the blessings of serving and learning how to serve away from fellow believers. The same argument could be made about the gift of giving. One individual covering needs entirely may pluck from others the ability to see the importance, or share the blessing, of giving. 

    Knowing our spiritual gifts can help us understand where we fit and how to serve in the church body, but we should also know them so we can recognize when we need to back off. Paul teaches that the Holy Spirit gives the gifts, but we control them. Sometimes we need to just enjoy people's company, like the dogs do with Reed. No pressure. No agenda. No plucking.

Chuckles

     A member of our small group loves Christian radio programs that speculate about end times. She said the latest theory is that newly crowned King Charles is the Anti-Christ. This is based on the imagery of his coat of arms. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I held in my chuckle. There has always been speculation about such things. The list of candidates, just in my lifetime, varies to a bizarre degree. Yes, Charles is a king, and yes, his coat of arms has images that tie into last days prophecy, but seriously? Charles? The Anti-Christ has a personality so charismatic, nations throughout the world are willing to follow him. They believe he can make good on his promise to achieve world peace. King Charles has the personality of a sock puppet. He couldn't charisma his way out of a parking ticket. I doubt he could lead people out of a loo. Our friends who lived in England said many Brits believed Queen Elizabeth would bypass Charles, aka Chuckles, completely and pass the title to William. Recent news coverage showed that both despite, and because of, the fancy coronation, many Brits think the monarchy is antiquated and an unnecessary expense. 

    It is hard for us as Christians to find the balance between "understanding the times", which we are supposed to do, and "worthless speculation," which we are not. My preferred tool for that is logic. In this case, is it likely that ineffectual Charles will turn into a dynamic leader in his declining years? No. There are some things, like the identity of the man of lawlessness, that the Bible says will not be revealed until that which restrains, commonly understood to be the Holy Spirit through the presence of God's people, is removed. That would be in the rapture, the timing of which is also undisclosed. We know we are in the end times, but that has been true since Jesus went home to heaven. Speculation about prophecy among Christians is okay as long as it does not cause discord, or is exploited for financial gain. However, sharing speculation that turns out to be untrue with weak believers or unbelievers, makes them think biblical prophecy is not believable, and that is no laughing matter. 

    I am not without curiosity, but I am also one of those people who, if you set a bag on the table and said, "Don't open that, it's your birthday gift", I would leave it alone. It is not that I do not want the gift, I just enjoy things more at their proper time. And that is my approach to those coming attractions prophecies. If the Bible says the timing of Jesus' return is unknowable (we get there when we get there), I am happy to wait for the surprise party. If it says the Anti-Christ will be revealed after we leave the planet, I am not going to devote much time to curating candidates, especially the laughably unlikely candidates, like Chuckles.

Transitions

     There are transitions in life that you know you are making. When I had a hysterectomy at 42, I knew my child bearing years were over. We were not planning to have more children, our youngest was 12 by then, but still I mourned that an era of my life was irretrievably gone. I would never feel a baby stir inside me again, a sensation I miss to this day. The end of my child raising years approached more gradually as, one by one, our kids graduated from high school. But the transition to letting go started years before that as we allowed them more freedom and responsibility. I remember as our oldest child's graduation neared, I felt there was not enough time left to teach all she needed to know about the Christian walk. I wanted to tip her head back and dump a truckload of spiritual instruction down her throat. Fortunately, we were studying Matthew in BSF that year and I realized Jesus, who was certainly qualified to, did not do that. As soon as his disciples understood who Christ really was, He started saying goodbye. Jesus trusted the Holy Spirit to help them remember and apply what he had taught them. I needed to do that too. The lessons she learned would come at the intersections where circumstance meets the Holy Spirit. It was His job to guide her into all truth, not mine.

    Still, it was hard to transition out of active parenting. I loved being a mom and would always be one, but it was no longer my place to tell my grown kids what to do or do tasks for them that they should be doing for themselves. When my kids were teens they were expected to do their own laundry, and cleaning their own rooms was their responsibility years before that. We bought a $200 "extra car" when Britten got her driver's license, but if my kids wanted a car to call their own, they had to pay for it--and gas. Being on our auto insurance kept it affordable ($25 per month), but they still had to pay their share. Having seen the damage done by parents treating their grown kids as if they were still minors, I asked advice from couples at church that seemed to have a good relationship with their adult children. The main piece of advice I was given was not to give advice--unless it was asked for. Since no one likes to receive unsolicited advice (look how we reacted to Covid directives) that sounded reasonable. Another suggestion I kept in mind was from a book by Edith Schaeffer, she said--Let them get there. Don't expect your children to be where you are at spiritually when they have not had your life experiences. God has been patiently, gradually teaching you and He will do the same for your children. Good reminder. God graciously gave me a little motherhood bonus time when the spare sons stayed with us. All had been badly loved by their moms and I had a chance to show them what mothering should be like and whet their appetite for the difference Christ makes in a family.

    But some of the other transitions have come more gradually. One of my gifts is hospitality and we have had many missionaries, students etc. stay with us, but once Tracy left home I realized it was inappropriate for me to host single men. I am certainly no cougar, and I resent the dirty minds some Christians have, but there is more at stake than my reputation and the guest's. Christ's reputation is at risk as well. A man in our church asked Reed if their son home from college last summer could stay with us, since their daughter and friend spent a month with us over winter break. I said no because Tracy's death was recent and I wanted to be free to cry when and where I needed to without worrying about making a guest uncomfortable. But this year when the church announced a need for housing for another college student home for the summer, I realized I couldn't because, even though he would be working, we would probably be alone together regularly and that could look bad. It dawned on me that my time of housing single men is over until Reed retires. And the loss of that aspect of hospitality, even temporarily, makes me sad. Another transition had been made before I even realized it.

    I know there are many transitions ahead simply through the process of aging and I will try not to resent them because the older I am, the closer I get to the best transitions of all:

 

--From continual internal conflict between my sin nature and God's righteous standard, to a mind freed from sin to think as God intended.

--From this earthly body to a spirit body, and later, a resurrected one. 

--From earthly existence to an intermediate heaven and then back to a renewed Earth in the New Jerusalem. 

--From a grieving mother to a joyful reunion, and then eternity together with all my loved ones who belong to Christ.

 

   Those final transitions will more than make up for the ones that feel like losses now.

In Any Given Time and Place

    Since the school year ended, Kalispell has had several incidents of teens harassing the homeless. The Director of the Warming Center, which is closed due to milder weather, is blaming our city council. She considers their attempts to remove transients from public property so that our parks, expensive walking trail, library, etc. will be safe for the rest of our residents, as tacit authorization to abuse the homeless. Sunday two teens beat a homeless man to death. He was described as small and gentle and was in the process of getting into an apartment. His 18 and 19 year old murderers have been arrested. They may see themselves as vigilantes for law abiding residents harassed by transients, but law abiding people would never accept such a lame defense. There is no excuse for their crime. I understand the Director's frustration at this needless cruelty, our own son died due to an irresponsible drug dealer, but we do not assume that his actions were authorized by someone else--not even by Biden's policies. The dealer acted on his own. If the killers were stupid enough to record their crime and post it on social media, I seriously doubt they know Kalispell has city councilmen, much less know their policies.

    The fact is, in any given time and place, there are bullies looking for someone to abuse. The fact that harassment of homeless started recently probably has more to do with school being out than city policy changes. But this is a lot more serious than the summer's typical smashing mailboxes and underage drinking parties. Their actions, like those of the mass murderers who have become so prevalent, spring from man's sinful nature. The Bible describes such bullies as "worthless men", the kind that hung around the public square hoping a fight would start so they could get in on it. The riot-ready kind that beat on Saul. The kind that called for Christ's crucifixion. Some people, like the Jan. 6th rioters, get caught up in the action and behave uncharacteristically. But for others, looking for victims is a lifestyle. I am certain that the investigation into these murderous teens will reveal years of bullying others both in and out of school. 

    In any given time and place, there are predators among us. In schools, they look for timid kids who won't fight back when bullied. In bars, they look for people too drunk to behave responsibly. In churches, they look for trusting souls to take advantage of. Predators can sense vulnerability like sharks detect blood in water. Despite attempts by well meaning cities and charities to mitigate the hardships of living on the streets by providing food, shelter, and supplies, they cannot protect anyone from the evil within mankind. The reason a homeless, harmless old man was murdered Sunday was because of the heartless who live among us, in any given time and place.

Off the Record

    For most of my life I was blissfully untouched by interaction with judicial law, but that changed when my favorite felon, Lance, lived with us. I took him to many court appearances. He was, if not okay with, at least, accustomed to them. I was his transportation, spare Mom, and nervous newbie to the Lake County legal system. I felt good about being there for him, he had needed someone in his corner for a long time. The charge which made him a felon when he came to us was aggravated assault for beating the dealer who was selling meth to his sister. It was aggravated assault because he hit him with a flashlight. He said he got the idea by watching cops do it. Imitation is not always the sincerest form of flattery, in this case it was battery. The judge must have either liked Lance or hated the dealer because, despite ten years of previous infractions, he was willing to drop the charge from his record if Lance could stay out of trouble for three years. Sadly, he did not make it three months. He left our home one night to go on a date. We found him three days later in the Kalispell jail. It was during those days of wondering what had happened to him, that God gave me the assignment of being the mom he never had. I gave him another chance. The court did not. His opportunity to have the charge removed was gone forever.

    Even from my limited experience I have found it is not uncommon for the court to give the option of removing charges from one's legal record. That is surprisingly merciful coming from a secular system. I was thinking how nice it would be if I could do the same. Christians are not supposed to keep records of wrongs against us, but we do. Maybe I could extend the same minimal mercy to people on my list. If _____ does not sin against me for _____ period of time, I will remove, if not all, at least one, of the charges from my mental record of wrongs. In view of all Christ has done for me, if I cannot resign from my self-appointed role as judge, perhaps I could be a merciful one instead and expunge a few charges against the people on my private naughty list and take them off the record.

The Party Host

     My view of meeting Jesus in heaven is still distorted but, at least, evolving. I have gone from thinking I would see him from a distance, ringed by a crowd of "popular kids", to thinking he would be like my pastors--busy running things, but available by appointment, or to chit chat at social events. Now I see Jesus more like a party host. He will greet me at the door, tell me how glad he is to see me, to have a good time, then move on to mingle with other guests. However that view is just another distortion. When we get to the wedding feast, we are not the guests, we are the bride. I have seen the movie "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", but the concept of billions of brides for one Brother is still hard to grasp. 

    Thanks to the wonders of Google, it is easy to research Jewish wedding customs in Biblical times. I found some interesting information, especially about the mikvah bath the bride and groom take separately, prior to the wedding. The mikvah represents spiritual cleansing. That gives me insight into why Jesus said he was baptized to fulfill all righteousness (Matt. 3:15). He did not require spiritual cleansing, but it symbolized his role as our groom, preparing for his wedding. 

    However, googling is not required to find out there is only supposed to be one bride per groom. So how the seating chart, etc. works at that wedding feast I cannot begin to say. No groom thinks of his bride as just another party guest, and Jesus is not just a party host, He is the Lord of Hosts. He who chose me, knows me, died for me, and lives in me, wants more from our relationship than a meet and greet at the party doorway. My heavenly view is still askew.

Body Matters

   One of my Christian friends has been using and enlisting others in a keto diet plan that involves supplements and coaching. Basically you eat meat and veggies, but you are also supposed to recruit others in what sounds like a pyramid scheme. Perhaps a food pyramid scheme? A number of our church members are on the diet and have lost impressive amounts of pounds and found some health benefits. But losing more weight does not equal gaining more health. My 95 year old Dad is skin and bones yet his BMI categorizes him as overweight, however, only a concentration camp doctor would advise him to lose more weight. I am happy for the success of those who have struggled with their weight for years, but I have a hard time finding eternal value in it, especially in view of the following.

   Tracy lost 30 lbs. years ago by giving up sugar. While attending college in Helena, he got up at 5 a.m. twice a week to go to a fitness club and exercise before 7 a.m. class. He was in terrific shape when he died. We live in a culture that believes thin=healthy and that we determine our lifespan by a disciplined lifestyle. Christians know better, but we still get sucked in by media, by doctors who drink the thin=healthy kool-aid, and by our friends. L___ has a right to post anything she wants on Facebook, but for someone who spent years teaching the Bible and serving the Lord in many other areas, a Christian who has gone through some deep family trials, it seems a shallow testimony to spend her retirement years obsessing (her word) about weight. These are not the bodies we keep, they are on loan. On some unknown day, despite our most rigorous efforts, our bodies will return to the earth and our spirits return to their maker.

   I will admit here on my blog that I am a vain person and I am frustrated with the changes age has brought to my body, but I do not post that sin openly on Facebook and I am not encouraging my friends to join me in it. As someone who has traveled and spent a fair amount of time in hotels and rental cars, this is my perspective:

 

 

Our bodies are like rental cars.

We ought to be good stewards of them, 

keep them fueled, clean 

and in good running condition.

   But there's no point in having the dents fixed,

   or body work done because

      at the end of our lives

      all bodies return to the manufacturer.

Every . . . last . . .  one

So it doesn't really matter

if this body is size 4 or 24,

whether you can hike 20 miles or 20 yards,

or whether you look youthful or toothless.

   Such things matter only in this world.

   They have no eternal value because

        despite diet, doctors, and diligent exercise

        these are not the bodies we keep.

 

Every . . . body . . . dies

   I know that when L___ gets to heaven, she will be commended for the many ways she has been a blessing to others and honored God, but I'm pretty sure wearing a size 4 won't be one of them. That body is one of the many earthly things we leave behind. God will replace the rental unit we use now with a resurrected body we wear for eternity. That is the body that matters.

                                              

The Price of Pride

    June first marked the beginning of Gay Pride month. I can't really tell the difference, for the last few years, every day seems to be gay pride day. I can't watch a 30 second commercial for a product that has no sexual connotation, without a flash of a gay couple in it. At the extreme ends of the spectrum, are Christians who react to homosexuality either by ranking it second after murder in our unbiblical Top 10 Hits of Sin, or they embrace it in an attempt to be more inclusive and contemporary. (As if one of the oldest sins in the Bible is contemporary.) Closer to the middle of the spectrum, are Christians who consider it just another sin like lying, stealing and adultery. That is true, although 1 Cor. 6:18 says "the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." Typically, sexual sins take two to tango so someone else's body is also involved. And lest anyone think Paul was catering his words to the sensibilities of the time, Rome had gay pride long before us.

    It is non-Christians who are making homosexuality not just another sin. Although our culture has huge tolerance for bad behavior, there is no Adultery Pride Month, Liar Pride Week, or even Thief Pride Day. Some could argue that Pro-abortion rallies promote the right to murder, but Planned Parenthood has not attempted to establish Abortion Pride Month. And although events like Carnival in South America, Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and Sturgis week in South Dakota are inclusive about drunken debauchery, most cities realize a month long celebration would do too much damage, fill too many jails and cost too much money. Las Vegas might be accepting of prostitution, inebriation and many other vices, but even there you are not allowed to cheat at gambling. So why put Gay Pride Month on our U.S. calendar along with Black History, Hispanic Heritage, etc? Why promote this one sin over all the others? Because most people know adultery destroys families, lying is wrong and even thieves don't want others to steal their property. Even sinful societies know some things are wrong.

    Promoting homosexuality might make it more accepted by the masses, but not by the Master Designer. He has battled Satan over this throughout the ages because homosexuality is, by nature, sterile. Gay couples who get pregnant or adopt are totally dependent on heterosexual reproduction. If all humankind was homosexual, mankind would have no future. Satan's plan is to destroy people; God's plan is for man to continue. I believe the reason God assigned a death penalty for homosexuality among His people, the reason he has dealt with it so severely in the past (Noah's flood, fire bombing Sodom & Gomorrah), is because it defies God's purposes and no one can fight God and win. Our present day promotion of gay pride will peak and ebb as it has many times in the past, but it comes at a high cost for our culture, for our families, for our future. The price of pride has always been a fall.