The Blind Men and the Elephant

     Since Reed's heart episode, he has been getting lots of dietary recommendations. This is good because he is finally willing to follow them, but it is also bad because the diet data is contradictory. For example, his heart information says the pizza he loves is unhealthy because of the nitrates in processed meat. Meanwhile our family doctor said the meat is fine, but the crust is unhealthy. It reminds me of a poem I heard in school called:  The Blind Men and the Elephant. Through the wondrous wisdom of Wikipedia, I can share it here.

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THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT.

A HINDOO FABLE.

I.

IT was six men of Indostan 

To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

II.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me!—but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

III.

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried: "Ho!—what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 't is mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

IV.

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:

"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

V.

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'T is clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

VI.

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

VII.

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

VIII.

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong! 

 

       The moral of this Hindu fable is about theological disputes. I am going to apply it to the topic I started with, but mine is in the form of a joke:

   Four dieticians are eating in the cafeteria, when a man sits down at the next table to eat his cheeseburger combo meal.

 The first dietician says, "That man is going to have a stroke from the fat and sodium in his french fries.""No," says the second, "he is going to get diabetes from the sugar in his soda." 

"Not likely," says the third, "he'll have a heart attack from the fat in the meat and cheese before that happens."

"You're wrong," says the fourth, "there's nothing wrong with the meat and fat, it's the carbs and gluten in the bun that's the problem."

 

     Nutrition science is as problematic as Covid science, facts are filtered by the focus, and sometimes the personal food preferences of the "expert". The basic recommended diet for both the healthy and the unhealthy is lots of veggies, lean meat and whole grains/little saturated fats and sugars. Diet and exercise play a role in the health problems listed above, but so do age and genetics. My diet inspiration is Dr. Atkins who, after a lifetime of depriving himself of potatoes, pasta, pastry and bread, fell, hit his head on a New York sidewalk, and died at 72. I think if he had known that all his sacrifices for the sake of health would be undone by a slab of cement, he would have eaten whatever he wanted. 

      And that is my recommendation for Reed. Eat what you want, but not so much, and not too often. Sip the sugary drinks. Eat snacks by the each, not the handful. Deprivation diets lead to frustration and failure. Moderation makes eating manageable.

And now for the punchline:

  

     The man finishes his combo meal, gets up, turns to the dieticians and says, "I should probably get more exercise, too." So he picks up their table and their tofu, carrot sticks, cottage cheese and quinoa clatter to the floor. The dieticians decide to leave quickly. . . for the sake of their health.