Tell Peanut Hi From Grandma

   Before Christmas there was a special segment on our local news called, "Gone Too Soon". It was about babies that had died before, or shortly after, birth. Reed told me it was hard to watch, though he didn't know why. But I knew. It was because of Peanut. Brie is our firstborn grandchild, but she is not the first one conceived. That place belongs to Peanut, an unplanned pregnancy in Tracy and Amanda's already troubled relationship, but no less loved.  They announced the news at Christmas when their gift to me was an ultrasound picture of my grandchild. For the first time in a long time, they seemed truly happy. A couple weeks later, while we were in Texas, Tracy called in tears to tell us Amanda lost the baby. He was between the second and third month when we lost him, no bigger than a peanut, and that is how I have referred to him/her ever since. It was a hard loss. Peanut died, Tracy and Amanda broke up, and we could no longer be grandparents to Amanda's daughter, MacKenzie.
    For months I kept Peanut's ultrasound on my night stand, then in it. Eventually, I was able to move his picture to the cedar chest. I have asked the Lord to let Peanut be the first one to greet me in heaven. I see no reason He would not, since He has granted so many lesser requests. So if my last word on earth is "Peanut", I am not asking for food. I know the child is in heaven, but I don't know how these tiny ones develop. The Bible does not say. I do not base my theology on movies, but in "Heaven Is For Real" the child who went to heaven met a sister he didn't know he had. She had miscarried before he was born, but was the age she would have been on earth. Since it seems rather unlike God to keep the preborn in their unfinished state perpetually, I assume Peanut, who would have been born July of 2015, is 3 1/2. It is a comfort to know he is in heaven and a comfort to have Brie to fill the arms that did not get to hold him. I know he is happy and does not need my prayers, so all I ask when I think of him is that the Lord give him a message--tell Peanut hi, from Grandma.