No Shortcut

Dear Sufferer,

I have been meaning to write you this letter for a while. There is no shortcut to what the Lord will teach you through your chronic disease, but I thought it might help to know some of the things I have learned through my chronic migraines. One of the first things I realized when I found out migraines were going to be uninvited guests in my life, was that there is a reason God gives us limits. Before migraines I could push myself and my body would keep on going, but my mind would not. I would get tired to the point I couldn't think straight and, because of my mother's mental illness, think that I was becoming like her. Scary. In God's mercy He gave me a physical limitation so that wouldn't happen. I'm sure you have already realized that God has given you your limitation for a reason and, whether you have discerned that or not, I would encourage you to look for the mercy behind it.

Another thing I had not been good at before migraines is listening to my body. There are times when God wants me to push through the pain, treat it as best I can, then ignore it and go about my business. But there are also times God makes it clear that I am to lie down and rest. On those days, when I try to walk around, my head throbs until I lie down. It does not take a lot of spiritual insight to figure that one out. Tracy was only four when my migraines started, preschoolers can be pretty understanding about mommy not feeling good. Tracy used to bring me his softest teddy bear to use as a pillow thinking it would help my head feel better. It didn't help my head, but it sure made my heart feel better.

The third thing is learn about your disease. That is much easier now than it was 30 years ago when my headaches started. No one knows how your body works better than you. The first five years of migraines, I saw my family doctor who tried me on a number of pain killers which increased my nausea and didn't decrease my pain. Between that, I used a Tylenol/Mountain Dew/ice pack combo which could bring my pain level down from an 8 to a 7 or even 6, but I would have asked for a referral to a neurologist in those first few years instead of suffering if I had known that was the specialist I needed to see. To this day, I can't stand the taste of Mountain Dew. I have also tried chiropractic, acupuncture, massage, various supplements, Botox and seeing a specialist in Seattle. Acupuncture helped for a few weeks, the rest of them didn't help at all. Be willing to try new things, but don't let a health practitioner tell you something is helping when it's not. And don't feel you need to follow every suggestion your friends and family throw out. Just because it worked for __________ doesn't mean it will for you. Frankly, I find it a little insulting when someone offers a simple suggestion, as if I would have endured headaches for decades because it never occurred me to go for a walk or some other cure they heard about. I don't say that, of course, but I try to keep that in mind when I suggest remedies for non-migraine health issues.

The best thing about suffering is that it helps link me with others in pain and with Christ. The Bible teaches there is an intrinsic value in suffering that I don't fully understand. But I do know that the day after a migraine so severe I was kind of going into shock, cold, clammy skin, shaking, I watched "The Passion", and when it depicted Jesus's hands shaking as he stood up to be flogged some more, I knew some tiny part of what that felt like. And it was the darkness of depression years ago that helps me identify with Christ's cry of being forsaken. Anything that makes me identify with Jesus is a good thing, however uncomfortable it feels. I know God is using your illness to mold you into Christ-likeness, and that is easier when the clay doesn't fear or fight the process. I hope this is an encouragement but, like I said, there is no shortcut.

Connie