Television shows love to do alternate reality themes. It allows the characters to step out of their usual roles, good guys become bad guys, strait laced become free spirits, etc. Then the whole thing turns out to be a dream, hallucination or near death experience, unless it is a sci-fi show where alternate reality is a given. Mentally ill people often live in an alternate reality of their own making, if not choosing. But since my son's accident, I have had an alternate reality sub-script running through my mind. While we were driving back to Montana and figuring out what steps we needed to take to get his injuries checked, legal help etc., my alternate reality was planning his funeral. Working out details like--where would we have it since he didn't attend our church? Even after we got home and could see he was okay, I was imagining driving to the hospital daily to deal with my son's head injury. Both of those alternate realities were more likely outcomes than his miraculous survival given the severity of the crash.
Even now I consider how empty and joyless this Christmas would have been if I had lost my son in September. I am so thankful it didn't happen to us, but I am also very aware that there are some of my friends living that painful reality. I pray for them often and try to let them know that. Though their loved ones live on in the heavenly reality we cannot see, the pain of loss is intensified at holidays and there is no alternate reality to escape to, nor dream to wake up from. The grace that spared my son is the same grace that would have sustained us through losing him and the grace that helps those grieving now. But the reality of grace is that it doesn't let us escape the hard times, it lets us endure them.
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