Here's to You, Captain Kangaroo

      One of the greatest pleasures of my girlhood was riding my bike. I had to wait longer than most of my friends for that taste of two wheeled freedom because I didn't get my own bicycle until I was nine.  My older brother got his at six, but I got my revenge when my parents finally brought home a surprise in the back of the station wagon--my very own 26 inch bicycle. My brother's was a dorky 24. It was purple and white. I named it April because that is the month I got it. I didn't need much riding instruction because I had been practicing on my friends' bikes for years. I have not forgotten that first sweet sip of freedom--from home, from slowness, from feet. I felt like I could ride to the moon. April and I spent many years together, she was a good bike, but she was not a Schwinn. My morning mentor, Captain Kangaroo, pedaled Schwinn bikes and I thought they were so cool, especially the Stingrays with high handlebars and banana seats. What I would have given for one of those.
     I left April behind when I got married, but I always had a bicycle of some sort. In Denver and Billings I had a second-hand, three-speed which was sold because, in the 70's, the cool bikes were ten speeds. I still had that bike when we moved to Kalispell, but eventually got to replace it when my husband and I spent our $100 wads on new, cool mountain bikes from Shopko.  He seldom rode his, but I wore mine out, not because I rode it so much, I had three children by then, but because it was cheaply made. Britten later gave me her nicer mountain bike, which she had replaced with a much nicer mountain bike.
     There is nothing wrong with that bicycle, but there is something wrong with me. I am old.  Or at least my shoulder is older, and when I ride bent over low handlebars, my right shoulder knots up. The knot is not the problem, it is when the knot cuts off the circulation to my right hand and climbs up my neck to my migraine zone so it won't be alone in its misery, that is the problem. This wasn't an issue last summer because my new knee, Lefty, was still just figuring out walking, but this spring I have been bicycle shopping. As luck and Boomer targeting would have it, the new cruiser bikes are just our old childhood bikes revisited. Some are eerily retro, with flower decals and tassels on the seat. All they need now is an AARP card clothes-pinned to the spokes. The good news is, we finally get to sit upright and see where we are going, the bad news is, they cost more than $100. Way more, depending on what you get. Beach cruisers, with one speed, coaster brakes and no fenders aren't too spendy, but hybrids, where you can sit upright on a suspension seat to see that you are riding on a mountain, can cost thousands.
     So, when Reed found a suitable, sitable cruiser on Ebay for $180, he bought it for me. It arrived today. I wanted to ride it right away, but it was raining and I was afraid the box it was in would get wet.  It is purple and white. I'm naming it April 2 because that is when I got it. And Captain Kangaroo, wherever you are, it's a Schwinn.

Good Friday

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday,

as if nature understood that,

today's weather has cycled through

 sunshine, sleet, rain and wind.

All these conditions mingling and changing

in a few short hours.

Much like the crucifixion,

  God's love, wrath, sorrow, and  power,

all these attributes mingling together

in the unchanging plan of God

in a few long hours.

Just One Life

    I know the title sounds like this is going to be one of my spiritual posts, but actually it is a rant against the faulty zero risk reasoning of this era. Often the justification for increasingly burdensome safety warnings or standards is "if it will save just one life, it's worth it".  I submit that is not a valid argument because there is no logical endpoint for that standard. A person rushing out of the house because a smoke alarm is going off, may trip and choke to death on their toothbrush. That does not mean we should outlaw smoke alarms or put warning labels on toothbrushes, "Do Not Place in Mouth". Admittedly, that would be a freak accident, but in our litigation lottery society, it would also be considered a golden opportunity.
     There are such things as freak accidents, just as there are instances when people get hurt and, much to the contingency lawyers' disappointment, it's not anybody's fault. By the reasoning "if it saves just one life" it would be important to get out of your home because most accidents happen in the home, not surprising, we spend more time there than elsewhere.  Our homes are filled with electrical wiring, hot things, flammable materials and slippery substances. Our houses are not safe, but how can we go somewhere else?  We certainly can't take the car because thousands of people are killed in auto accidents every year.  Though bicycle accidents are less common, we have much less protection on a bike and more than one person has died that way.  However, a bicycle may have enough speed to avoid an impending accident, pedestrians lack even that advantage.  So in order to save "just one life" we can neither stay home nor leave it.
     If we chose to bubble wrap ourselves and remain immobile in the middle of a room, we would be safe from accidents but our bodies would rapidly begin to malfunction. This would not be the fault of the bubble wrap. In order to save "just one life", it would be necessary not to live it.  That is why I have zero tolerance for our zero risk mentality. Zero risk is our eternal reward, not an earthly entitlement. Hope that doesn't burst anyone's bubble.