longage--If there is such a thing as a shortage, why not a longage? When our cat Maynard stretches out in the sun, there is definitely a longage of cat.
backage--If there is frontage, there must necessarily be backage.For instance, the same realty ad describing a home with gorgeous river frontage, may forget to include the gravel pit backage.
smartfounded--The opposite of dumbfounded.
combobulated--No one knows what discombobulated really means anyway. It probably happens to people who are dumbfounded.
ept--This one I heard on a sitcom long ago, the opposite of inept.
dubitably--We don't need this word, there are plenty of synonyms, but it would be fun to say.
impotential--The likelihood (as opposed to the likelisweater) that your newly elected official will not keep his campaign promises--or the unlikelihood that he will.
distresso--Spilling your cappuccino in the car.
detextive--A person who recognizes and deletes texting errors before sending.
overflush/underflush--We have a dual flush toilet, push the small button for number one, the large button for number two. Occasionally I get them mixed up, there should be a word for that.
lethalize--Legalizing murder. See abortion. Sometimes mistaken for euthanasia.
superpceed--Being so concerned about offending a minority that you wind up offending the majority. For example, renaming Christmas Winter Holiday so as not to offend the tiny percentage of Americans who claim to be atheists.
tolera-bull--Being offended that other people are intolerant.
omnibore--Someone who shares boring facts on every subject.
goozle--Coined by my son, a combination of gush and ooze, used to describe the head of a whole roasted pig. As in, "The eyes goozled out."
Monday, September 30, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
If I Lived Before. . .
If I lived in the time before blood transfusions, my younger brother and sister would have died in infancy of Rh blood incompatibility. If Rod somehow survived birth, in the time before hearing aids, he would not be the music lover he is today. A whole world of sounds and learning would have been shut to him, and perhaps, the door to an institution.
If I lived in the time before Caesarians, I would have watched my sister die in labor with her first child. The same is true for my sister-in-law, who would not have survived to give birth to her third child, born with spina bifida. If not for Caesarian birth, Zane would have died in infancy when the blister like meningocele on his lower vertebra burst in the birth canal, contaminating his spinal fluid. And if he miraculously survived that, his prospects for life would still have been as grim as Rod's.
If I had lived before migraine interruptor meds, I would have suffered chronically from the nauseating pain fog of migraines or the medicated brainfog of painkillers. But that suffering probably would have been cut short if my Graves' disease had developed in the days before thyroid irradiation. Before radiation or meds, half of Graves sufferers died. From my own experience, I can attest it would be an unpleasant way to die.
If my mother had lived before psychiatric drugs, as limited as they were in the sixties, she might have wound up in a nightmarish mental institution or made a perpetual nightmare of our home.
It is easy to long for the good old days of patriotism, morality and honor, but then--we are alive to do so. Would I have lived to lament the losses of these times, if I had lived before?
If I lived in the time before Caesarians, I would have watched my sister die in labor with her first child. The same is true for my sister-in-law, who would not have survived to give birth to her third child, born with spina bifida. If not for Caesarian birth, Zane would have died in infancy when the blister like meningocele on his lower vertebra burst in the birth canal, contaminating his spinal fluid. And if he miraculously survived that, his prospects for life would still have been as grim as Rod's.
If I had lived before migraine interruptor meds, I would have suffered chronically from the nauseating pain fog of migraines or the medicated brainfog of painkillers. But that suffering probably would have been cut short if my Graves' disease had developed in the days before thyroid irradiation. Before radiation or meds, half of Graves sufferers died. From my own experience, I can attest it would be an unpleasant way to die.
If my mother had lived before psychiatric drugs, as limited as they were in the sixties, she might have wound up in a nightmarish mental institution or made a perpetual nightmare of our home.
It is easy to long for the good old days of patriotism, morality and honor, but then--we are alive to do so. Would I have lived to lament the losses of these times, if I had lived before?
Monday, September 2, 2013
For the Last Time
All through the years of child rearing I used the phrase "for the last time", but didn't mean it.
"For the last time, SIT DOWN!"
"For the last time, BE STILL!"
"For the last time, PICK UP YOUR TOYS!"
For the last time simply meant if I had to say it again, child rearing would involve their rear. I would be repeating "for the last time" for many years. It was not until the children started leaving home that for the last time became accurate. Will moved out nearly ten years ago but, since he has been in nursing school, has spent the last three summers at home. He viewed this as favor showing support for higher education in general and him in particular, we viewed it as a bonus showing appreciation for a home in general and us in particular. Will will graduate and become an R.N. next spring and a husband sometime next summer. We are very pleased about both of these accomplishments, but it means his summers in our home have happened for the last time and there is sorrow in that thought.
I console myself with the knowledge that not only will Will be visiting in the years to come, but he will be bringing his wife with him, meaning our investment in him (unlike most of our investments) will have actually doubled. In future years, it may even yield a stock split. I also find comfort in remembering that when he moved out at 20, I had no reason to anticipate these bonus Will-full summers. None of us know what wonderful things God may have in store for us. His bottomless blessings come with free refills and last for the last times.
"For the last time, SIT DOWN!"
"For the last time, BE STILL!"
"For the last time, PICK UP YOUR TOYS!"
For the last time simply meant if I had to say it again, child rearing would involve their rear. I would be repeating "for the last time" for many years. It was not until the children started leaving home that for the last time became accurate. Will moved out nearly ten years ago but, since he has been in nursing school, has spent the last three summers at home. He viewed this as favor showing support for higher education in general and him in particular, we viewed it as a bonus showing appreciation for a home in general and us in particular. Will will graduate and become an R.N. next spring and a husband sometime next summer. We are very pleased about both of these accomplishments, but it means his summers in our home have happened for the last time and there is sorrow in that thought.
I console myself with the knowledge that not only will Will be visiting in the years to come, but he will be bringing his wife with him, meaning our investment in him (unlike most of our investments) will have actually doubled. In future years, it may even yield a stock split. I also find comfort in remembering that when he moved out at 20, I had no reason to anticipate these bonus Will-full summers. None of us know what wonderful things God may have in store for us. His bottomless blessings come with free refills and last for the last times.
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