Missing a Step

     At the three month follow up of my knee replacement, the orthopedist responded to my impatience with my glacially slow recovery by saying, "Slow and steady wins the race." Race? I couldn't win a race with a stump. I am definitely missing a step. I exhausted my personal leave time at work so was "termed", aka voluntary resignation. I cannot even return to my beloved Sykes' people to take blood pressures, a job which I could do while comatose, until I have medical clearance to fulfill all my home care tasks and reapply for the position I held for 14 years. Right now, if I had to escort an 80 year old on an errand, she would have to slow down for me. Yesterday I went to the bank, noticed cookies, and realized I had totally forgotten about free cookie Friday. I used to plan my banking around cookie Fridays. I have lost touch with what is truly important. I miss my familiar routine. I miss my life.
     I even miss the thyroid induced poetry that intruded into my life, welcome as a fart in an elevator. I have little inspiration for blogging (not that that stops me), much less for writing poetry. I have had enough time with my own thoughts to realize that I am so boring, drying paint wouldn't even watch me. I am a schedule person. I miss my schedule. I am unsure of my purpose but, to be honest, I have been unsure ever since my children left home. I achieved the calling of raising (and surviving) my children, all I have had since then is a schedule. Now, I don't even have that.
     At the hotel, I had the knee rehab (kneehab?) intensive schedule. Now that I am home, I don't have the nice equipment with which to exercise, but have the distraction of house chores that need to be done. I don't do them, but knowing that I should distracts me. Fortunately, my inspiration for spring cleaning fades when the sun does. I know I'm missing the benefit of this opportunity to do things my regular schedule doesn't allow, but free time is just not as precious as stolen time. That is what's missing from my life, the sense of playing hookey from a busy schedule.