For years the toilet in our master bath had a crack in it. Because the crack was superficial, we didn't bother to replace it. Frankly, a toilet with a crack on it seemed only fitting. But when we needed to replace the flush pump for the second time in a couple years, we decided to dump that idea and aspire to a new throne. Aside from the tiny toilets you see near a school's kindergarten class, I have always thought of toilets as a one-size-fits-all item, like Snuggis, only way more useful. But good fortune smiled upon our cracked potty when I found a Costco coupon for a small tank, dual flush, tall toilet. I wasn't sure about the other features, but I realized a tall toilet might help counteract the increasing gravity that has accompanied my increasing age.
Where is Al Gore when you need him? No one is sounding the alarm about the global gravity crisis. I have no hard data, (but neither did Al Gore) and I have noticed an alarming increase in gravity the closer I get to the floor. It gets worse every year, yet the U.N. does nothing, but then, that's what they are there for. But there is something I can do, I can buy a tall toilet. In our miniature, master bathroom, now the only victim of the gravity vortex is the soap.
One problem solved, another created. I cannot seem to reprogram my knees to adjust to toilets of different heights. At first, I found myself landing abruptly on the tall toilet. Now, having gotten used to it, I keep landing abruptly, shall we say, short of the runway on the normal sized toilet in our main bathroom. I did not realize until now that part of the fearful and wonderful way our bodies are made includes toilet- tailored sitting. This is a minor inconvenience compared to serious matters like the gravity crisis, but still a tall tail tale worth telling--at least here, where the expectations are low.
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