Free Willing

     While I am killing time waiting for my flight to Bermuda, I might as well finish this post which for so long has consisted of only the title "Free Willing".  I tell people I do not believe in free will, but I probably should explain what I mean by that.  I do not believe human will is coerced by outside forces, but I believe it is so influenced by the kingdom in which we reside that they are not equal choices. The Bible makes it clear that mankind resides in one of two kingdoms, the kingdom of Satan or the kingdom of God.  Entering the domain of the "prince of the power of the air" is so easy a newborn baby can do it--we are born subject to sin. Entry into God's kingdom comes through the easy/hard choice of faith in Christ.  It is really an out of this world choice because the moment we believe, we become citizens of a heavenly kingdom.
     The best explanation I have read about free will is that we make choices based on what seems good to us. When we are subjects of Satan's kingdom, sinful choices seem good.  Unbelievers can choose good instead of evil, but to do so they must swim upstream against their natural inclination.  Without the Holy Spirit, there is no lasting power over sin.  Even our most altruistic choices usually have some inner, selfish motivation, even if it is only that we feel better about ourselves.  I was brought up Mormon and taught to live to a high moral standard.  I did fine with the external requirements regarding attendance, tithing, dietary restrictions etc., but I was continually frustrated with my inability to change my selfish insides for more than a few hours.
     Believers are free from the power of sin, the problem is that we have residual contamination from time spent in Satan's domain.  To change our decision making we must decontaminate our mind by soaking it in God's word.  The degree of contamination is why I feel our will is not really free. For instance, an alcoholic can choose not to drink, but that choice is 95% inclined toward drinking.  I am not an alcoholic and was raised in an alcohol free home, my decision regarding drinking is 95% inclined toward abstinence. I have, however, spent years of my life as an anorexic.  When I am caught up in that sin, decisions about eating that would take only moments in normal life can take hours and often end with the default choice of eating nothing.  I am still free to choose whatever I want to eat, but my inclination is 95% toward fasting. For me there was literally no such thing as a free lunch.
    Understanding the power of those sinful inclinations is what enables Christians to be merciful and gracious to those making bad choices in either kingdom. We are free to choose, but unless one suffers from total amnesia, our options are not equal. Choosing to take up our cross is costly, dying to our selfish will can hardly be called--free.