Doctor, Docteur

    I have made several trips to Missoula in the past year trying to find my brother a doctor to help with his migraines. I assigned myself this task because I consider myself a professional migraineur, mostly because I have 20 years experience in that field and partly because French titles sound more professional.  
Consider:   chauffeur vs. driver--hauteur vs. snob-- voyeur vs. peeping tom
I have come to the conclusion that there are basically three kinds of doctors:  talkers, listeners, and neithers
If you have migraines, you need neurologist.  The first two neurologists I found for Roddy were talkers.  Dad accompanied Rod on his first appointment.  Dr. Talker's theory is that migraines are strictly genetic, nothing else matters. We have no family history of migraines and mine began following a car accident.  I seriously doubt it altered my genes.  My dad is from the old school where Doctor talked and patient believed and did whatever they said. I am not.  For that and other reasons, we moved on to Dr. Talker II.
     This time I accompanied Rod to his first appointment.  Dr. Talker II assured us that Rod's scoliosis and resulting neck condition and position had nothing to do with his migraines. Rod got relief from the migraine interrupter meds the doctor prescribed, but was taking them almost everyday.  When I made another 120 mile trip to Missoula to discuss meds for migraine prevention, Dr. Talker II rudely informed me that meds that benefited me had no bearing on Rod's treatment.  Movie quote:  What we had here was a failure to communicate.  He trained a lot of physician's assistants in his practice, all of which were an improvement on Dr. Talker II, but Rod's cerebral palsy and clonus made him more of a training exercise than a patient there.  "Come in and see this."  And Rod felt the doctor was trying to psychoanalyze him rather than relieve his pain.  Fortunately, a P.A. referred him to a pain and spine doctor with whom I am impressed.
    Dr. Listener recognizes Rod as a human, not a head.  I have a wonderful, listening neurologist, but I have found many specialists get so tightly focused on their specialty, they forget that the patient's body, mind and spirit are an inseparable unit.  Surgeons are the worst, they tend to look at their patients as some sort of kit to be assembled. The doctor who repaired my older brother's facial fractures after a motorcycle wreck told us after the surgery, Clell could go home. Unfortunately my brother's head was hooked to a fairly broken body.  Where the doctor's head was, I don't care to say.
    The third type of doctor neither talks nor listens. They don't need to because every patient gets pretty much the same treatment regardless of condition.  Neithers have their uses if you already know what is wrong and what treatment is needed. They are happy to write prescriptions and are usually available for a last minute appointment. Dr. Neithers made it through medical school, but not by much. They tend not to refer patients to other doctors because they know their marginal skills will suffer by comparison.  When my mother became too weak to walk more than a few feet at home, dad took her to Dr. Neither who X-rayed her knees, recommended ibuprofen, and sent her home with no diagnosis, no follow up and no walking aids.
     When doctor shopping, we amateurs should be connoisseurs.  Even without an impressive French title, "eu  r" an expert on you.