Experimenting with Drugs

     Here, in the privacy of the world wide web, I confess that I have a problem with drugs.  I do not have uncommon reactions to prescription medications, I have the rare to bizarre ones.  I have to read clear to the bottom of the two page side effects sheet to see if anyone else on the planet has reacted as I have.  For instance, many substances make my ears ring.  Green tea extract, Bio-Slim and any other substance that boosts metabolism and helps you lose weight make my ears ring.  I realize that most people my age have some degree of tinnitus, but meds can turn that from a minor irritation to a constant, high pitched dog whistle that drowns out the sounds I would much rather hear, like music and conversation.  Whereas the problematic health supplements are optional, blood pressure medication is not, and I had to experiment with all the drug families (pills, not people) to find one that evoked more tolerable tinnitus.  Naturally, it is not one of the inexpensive drugs.
     Most of my experimenting has been trying to find a migraine preventative. The meds I take to relieve migraines work just as they are supposed to, although some work better than others.  A rule of thumb (perhaps palm would be more appropriate) is that the more expensive the med, the better it works.  In the case of migraine interrupters, this is because drug companies have invested years of painstaking research studying the complexities of the human brain.  Migraine prophylactics, however, are usually the result of sheer serendipity.  "Doctor since I started taking medication for (insert condition), I'm having fewer migraines."  Eureka, the cure!  These drugs are expensive because of years of painstaking research into an unrelated condition.  The lagniappe of these multipurpose drugs is not passed along to the "See also" sufferer.
     After five years of prescribing pain meds which added the novelty of nausea to the pain of migraines, my doctor sent me to a neurologist.  He introduced me to my new bffs:  Imitrex, then later, Zomig to stop migraines and an anitdepressant to help prevent them.  Antidepressants eventually lost their place as neurologist's pet to anti-seizure drugs.  This is where the fun began for me.
     On Topamax I had no headaches, also no appetite, insomnia, a visual disturbance that was a flash of light by day and a multicolored patchwork quilt at night, and anxiety so bad that I called my doctor at 9:30 p.m. one night and begged him to let me stop taking them.  When I tried Seroquel, whose worst side effect for most people is sleepiness, I became manic.  I laughed uncontrollably.  Also uncontrollable was that every song and odious commercial jingle I had ever heard came into my mind and out my mouth.  Fortunately, we were having a party the night I took Seroquel.  I didn't take it long enough to find out if it helped with migraines.
    I have been blessed with a common blood type, common, middle age health conditions, common looks and common life.  My doctor said my uncommon reactions to medication are due to unusual brain chemistry.  My goal is that someday, way down at the bottom of drug label, after Common, Uncommon, Unusual and Rare, it will say Bizarre--see Connie Lamb.