The Last of the Spares

     I will follow up the story of spare son number five with the end of the story of the spare sons.  When the spares were with us I knew what I was called to do, God called me to mother them the way it should have been done in the first place.  It was hard to relate to their struggles and lifestyles because my life experience was so unlike theirs.  I had never been around alcohol, fighting and the legal system, but I had grown up in an unstable home because of my mother's mental illness and some of the feelings were similar.  I needed a whole new pool of wisdom than what I had used with my own kids.  I prayed a lot, but I also loved being able to show the love of Christ to them in the practical ways we are commanded to but seldom find opportunities--I fed them, clothed them, took care of them when they were sick and visited them in jail.  It was extremely fulfilling to me to have an opportunity to extend mothering, my best job ever, for a few more years.
     Both A.J.s lived with us only a month; David, our token Christian, the son of college friends, 5 weeks; Andy, Justin and Mackenzie, four months; Loren, one year; Lance, most of two years.  The hardest one to lose was Lance.  His situation was the most critical, his alcoholism had brought him to a breakpoint between jail and prison, without help prison is where he would be now.  The rules of our house gave him an excuse to say no when his friends wanted to drink, when he was with us he was safe.  I knew I could not save him from the lifestyle that was drowning him, I just wanted to get him closer to the shore where he could touch bottom and get himself out.  Since he is not in jail or prison now, I assume he did.
     When the last of the spares had left God called me to an even harder job, He asked if I could love the way He does, for years at a time, getting no response.  I told Him I could.  That is what I am doing now.  I pray for them everyday, and trust God to continue through others the privilege that was mine for a time, to help lead them to Christ.  This lack of communication is not limited to inconsiderate young men.  I listened to a woman from a severely dysfunctional home tell about the individuals who had made such a difference in changing her life.  Though she was a community leader, business professional and lived in the same town with the people who had helped her, she had never told them what an impact they had. Some memories are just too hard to revisit.
     I am content to know that I did the job God called me to do in the lives of these young men and all those we met through them.  God always finishes what He starts, the results are His responsibility, obedience is mine.  I do not accept not knowing because I am super spiritual, it is simply the reality of the situation.  I will not try to track them down, they know where I am, ours was always a voluntary relationship.  I wanted to show them unconditional love, now is my chance to give it under the hardest condition of all--waiting.