Tradition, Tradition

     When I was growing up I tried so hard to make some days special, I longed for memorable celebrations and holiday traditions.  Ours were memorable, but mostly because my mom's mental illness worsened.  That was our tradition. The best way I could think of to erase those memories was to bury them under good ones of special times with my husband and children.  So we are one of the few couples in America that use our good china, not good Chinet, for holiday dinners.  The first day of the school year was celebrated by letting each child pick out a special breakfast, lunch or dinner.  Fortunately, we had the foresight to have only three children so this plan worked. We had cider and doughnuts on pumpkin carving day before Halloween.  Christmas, of course, was replete with traditions.  I made egg nog for tree decorating day.  No gifts were placed under the tree until the week before Christmas so the nativity set would have precedence. And we still have cheese and chocolate fondue for Christmas Eve and watch the movie "Scrooged".  On Christmas morning, the kids could open only their stockings before breakfast., but they needed to open those because they contained little boxes of cereal. Valentine's gifts and Easter baskets always had to be hunted for. I decorated a car shaped cake for the day they got their driver's license.  We used the "old" china for Sunday breakfast so they would know the Lord's day was something special too.  Kids being kids, it wasn't easy to tell if they appreciated the extra effort; Tracy was my only sentimental child, but since my daughter is already building traditions in her home, I know something caught on.
     It takes a certain amount of stubbornness to pursue traditions in a culture that thinks eating dinner together is hopelessly old fashioned.  To get even the adults (aka men) to shut off the television, computer etc. long enough to pray and eat together is a struggle, not to mention the teenagers who nearly dislocate their eyeballs rolling them at Mom's corny suggestions.  However, younger kids love tradition.  If you have entertained children, you know that accidentally doing the same thing twice can establish a rock hard tradition in their minds and you will have to repeat it until they are teenagers and no longer remember you, much less the tradition.  By that time you are looking forward to the ice cream after swimming, etc. and they smile at you indulgently for thinking that ever happened.
     There are few religious holidays in our country and most of the patriotic ones have been relegated to days off work and sale shopping, and there are far too many hours devoted to television, facebook and texting.  We will not look back with fond memories of the football game we watched that holiday, we will remember and miss the people, the conversations, even the frenzied excitement of the children.  But as long as we maintain the tradition, those memories will always be a part of us. Holidays are not only focal points for memories, but opportunities to teach about God and share values, that is why there are so many feasts in the Old Testament.  The planning and preparation required to form a tradition pays dividends in a wealth of memories for yourself and future generations. That's especially important when you won't be bequeathing wealth of the other kind--and it is exempt from the IRS, who have their own traditions.  In "Fiddler on the Roof", Tevye said "Tradition helps us know who we are and what God wants us to do".  Tevye was right.