Connie Ltd.

     In school I was always the youngest and next to smallest in my class, only because there was always one poor soul smaller than me.  I was also the next to last chosen for any team sports in gym class, not because of my size, but because I was hopelessly unathletic.  I was smart but not gifted.  I could sing in a way that didn't hurt people's ears but had limited range and ability.  I knew from first grade on that there was a popular group in school and I wasn't in it because I was neither pretty nor rich. Until we moved when I was in seventh grade, I had only one real friend.  I couldn't play an instrument, had no artistic talent but was fairly good at writing.  I was a devout Mormon and was taught that things we do in our preborn, spirit existence determine our situation in this world, so I concluded that the reason I was neither pretty, popular nor talented and lived in a dysfunctional home was something I did wrong before I was born and couldn't even remember.  So far this isn't very funny.
     The point is I wasn't chosen, not for sports, not for choir, not for parties.  That's why it is so incomprehensible to me that I was chosen by God, to be part of his family and belong to him forever.  The more I learn about the grace of God, the less I understand it.  I have known me intimately for 54 years and can't think of any reason that God would even notice, much less choose me before the foundation of the world.  It could have been pity, but there are many lives more pitiful than mine. 
     I am no longer a child and now see myself in a more gracious light, I consider myself average.  Average height, weight, intelligence, looks, singer, abilities.  I am content to be mediocre for the most part because the significance of my life does not come from how I compare to others.  My mediocre life has meaning because God chose to save me and even condescends to use me in part of His plan for the world.  The fact that I have limited resources to offer Him is no problem because His resources are unlimited.  Being chosen as homecoming queen is meaningless after high school, even being chosen as president makes but a little splash in the bucket of world affairs.  But I was chosen twice, first by God, then by my husband, that is good enough for me.