I Dance Alone wtih Empty Arms

    I haven't told Reed I do this until recently because it sounds so pathetic, but perhaps no more so than talking to Trace at his grave. Though I do not dance and could not waltz at gunpoint, it is my sad, rare and comforting ritual of the Christmas season. The song is one I posted last year, "Christmas Lullaby/

I Will Lead You Home" by Amy Grant--which I'm having trouble linking this year.    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DCAfDgntyWs8&ved=2ahUKEwikpYjJwI6RAxVJADQIHY-iOY4QtwJ6BAgqEAI&usg=AOvVaw26Q4L98s5RHzXo41EW_Cru

I Dance Alone with Empty Arms  

 

Sometimes, when in the house alone

with Christmas season coming on,

I play a certain song about 

a wanderer being led home.

 

The music is three quarter time,

a pulse that resonates with mine.

I raise my arms up and waltz on

as if I'm dancing with my son,

 

though in life, we neither did nor would.

I dance alone with empty arms

remember his hugs, his shoulders strong, 

a refuge to be counted on.

 

But then, perhaps I'll have a chance

for a mother and son wedding dance

at the marriage supper of the Lamb,

our union with the great I AM

 

and all the ones we love so much,

who wait in heaven, safe from harm.

With empty arms I dance alone

until the time he leads me home. 

 

11/24/25 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Parting of the Ways

    I knew it would take a lot to break Reed's grip on airplanes and the airport. Such concerns have been the subroutine playing in the back of his brain for nearly five decades. Yes, he had prostate cancer surgery and radiation, and that may have slowed him down, maybe loosened a couple fingers, but he would have gone back into airplane mode if it were not for another, more malignant factor--his coworker. Let's just call him "Cain." A couple years ago, Reed hired a mechanic he wanted to train to replace him so he could retire. Early on it became apparent they had different priorities. Cain was too busy setting up his own business in the owner's hangar to have time to learn about the jet he was getting paid to maintain. Reed gave up 3/4ths of his salary much earlier than the owner would have asked so Cain's family would have enough to live on to make this transition work. Meanwhile Cain rented one bay of hangar space and proceeded to take over three spaces and two offices. Not content with triple dipping, Cain also expected Reed and another contractor working at the airport to run their bills through his business so he could make more per hour from their time than they did. When neither of them saw the profit of paying for the privilege of working for Cain, he transformed faster than Dr. Jeykll on super serum. Not into a violent, self serving beast, but something worse--a teenager. 

    Most of the time he has worked at the hangar, Cain has behaved toward Reed like a petulant 15 year old with an unwelcome stepdad. Dismissing, arguing with, or doing the opposite of everything Reed told him. I thought the reason Cain greeted and launched all the flights himself was guilt for taking his employer's money to build his own business. That was foolishly optimistic. When a pilot asked Reed why he had not fixed a problem with the jet he had complained of weeks ago, realization dawned. Cain took those shifts to keep Reed from talking to the pilots or passengers. He wanted to control Reed's access to information. Since Cain either did not know enough or did not care enough to correct the problem with the jet, he left it undone. It was more important to him to hoard the information than to fix the jet. Evidently, Cain models his management style after communist dictators, cults, or abusive spouses--cut off communication with outsiders. Since he cannot, like the latter, confine Reed to some cabin in the canyon, his only recourse is to get vindictive. Violations of Cain's nondisclosure policy result in orders, supposedly from the owner, for Reed to get his stuff out of the hangar. So he did.

    Not in the sell me your tools cheap sense Cain hoped for, but since his tools were being used without asking and comsumable supplies were not replenished, he gradually rehomed tools and supplies to a giant container. Since losing access to the tools and parts Cain habitually used, actually punished him more than Reed, Cain decided Reed leaving plates, utensils, etc. in the kitchen was also an act of selfishness on Reed's part. Despite Cain's agreement with the owner that he would leave them alone or contact Reed before getting rid of them, Cain boxed up what he considered unnecessary to give to Salvation Army and didn't tell Reed until he asked about the boxes. When Mrs. Cain threatened to throw away everything else, Reed took the rest. It doesn't matter like it once did, only Cain's customers and few friends feel welcome in the hangar now. 

    The business owner has never met Mr. Hyde and thinks he has two employees with good ideas and poor communication skills. But one of the problems with behaving like a rebellious teenager and being a habitual liar is that there are witnesses. You can't hide Mr. Hyde forever. Now that the sheets are split so to speak, and Reed's final finger is pried from the hangar door, it is time for a parting of the ways. I just pray that the haughty Mr. Hyde is not the one who will be fixing the jet.

     

 

The Maker of Both

     

    We have been on vacation in Oregon, visiting friends, museums and the coast. That gives a lot of inspiration for poetry but little time to write it so here, at last, is a souvenir poem from our trip. 

 

The Maker of Both 

 

Not to be outdone by lesser performances,

the ocean raises its volume at night.

The sound of a womb, no longer remembered,

but still somehow familiar, comforting.

We are being held safe, this time not by our mothers,

but by God, the maker of both the mighty oceans

and the insignificant, but infinitely loved--us.