The Trailbreaker

     We were going to remove the Christmas decorations from Tracy's grave a couple weeks ago, but I just could not face that in the dreariness of days of inversion. Since freezing rain is predicted for our area soon, we decided to try it today, in spite of the recent snowstorms. Removing reminders of the best part of winter from the reminder of the worst part of our lives, is a grim enough task without slogging through snowdrifts to accomplish it. But the lesson the Lord had for us through that duty was as tangible as the wreath and light we brought home.

 

The Trailbreaker

 

Due to our recent winter storms,

the path to Tracy's grave today

was drifted feet deep in snow.

Reed held my hand as we 

struggled to walk through it

together, side by side.

 

But then he realized

the walk would be easier for me

if he let go of my hand

and walked ahead of me,

breaking a trail

for me to follow.

You, Lord, are the Trailblazer.

Your life lit the path

from birth to the grave.

Your death blazed the trail

from the grave to God,

for millions to follow.

And you, Trace, are the Trailbreaker--

the first of our family of five

 to walk the path to heaven.

Though letting go of your hand

has been the hardest thing

I have ever done,

 

the path to the grave

for our family, for me,

will be easier knowing

that you are just ahead

waiting, hand outstretched,

for us to follow.

Blurvana

   One of the definitions of Nirvana is a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self. In Buddhism, this state of nothingness is a blessed relief from the karma/reincarnation cycle. I, however, am not Buddhist. And though I want to be free from suffering, I think loss of desire would make life meaningless and loss of self would be dementia. Not my idea of heaven. Fortunately, this blog is not about Nirvana, it is about Blurvana. That is the state in which I am now living. Since I made up the term, I get to define it.

   Blurvana--the interocular interval between cataract surgeries in which the implanted lens can no longer focus through the glasses upon which the untreated eye is still dependent. I would like to transcend this state as quickly as possible. Since I chose lenses that will allow me to see up close without correction, I wake up with the ability to see with amazing clarity my messy hair, age spots, and every speck of dirt in the shower. But, since part of the first week post surgery protocol is not bending over, I don't have to feel guilty about not cleaning it. I'll have to come up with another excuse when the week is over. Following that first focused look at my fading looks, the rest of the day is a blur. 

   My left eye needs correction for both close up and distance. My right eye needs correction for distance, but not at the same strength as my current glasses. To misquote scripture, the right eye cannot say to the left eye, I don't need you. And the left eye cannot say to the glasses, I have no need of you. Though Blurvana does not qualify as suffering, I am not free of it. And I am certainly not free of desire. I desire to see ASAP. But my sense of self does not include wanting to see me. I want to see things like the book I am trying to read, the TV, perhaps even oncoming traffic. For now I must view in the same way they do cataract surgery--one eye at a time. Then I can transcend Blurvana.

Sorry, Sugar

    While I am biting my fingers (see how well I'm tying my posts together lately), my church friend promoting a "health" program on Facebook recently posted that what we call flu season is actually "sugar" season. The reasoning goes like this:

 

    Sugar lowers immunity. (The Montana Democratic party should fact check that). 

    + People consume more sugar over the holidays. (Not necessarily.)

    + Flu season occurs in the winter. 

    = Sugar is causing people to get the flu.

I was so tempted to post--Good thing my body doesn't know about that. I eat sugar in some form everyday and only get sick twice a year, rarely during flu season. My body has followed this pattern for more than 30 years, I get a cold when seasons change from summer to fall and spring to summer. From my fact checking it sounds like a little glucose is good for your immune system, too much is bad. How about that? Just like everything else we consume and do, too much of anything is bad for you. Also the effect of a glucose spike on the immune system is temporary and mostly affects those with weak immune systems. Besides, these "facts" were part of her sales pitch to sign up 5 more people for the diet program she advocates.

    By repeatedly telling myself Do Not Engage!, I managed to suppress my anti-illogic system from forcing me to respond. But I will engage now:

1) Correlation is not cause--just because 2 things happen about the same time, it doesn't mean one caused the other. This is one of the most prevalent and annoying logical fallacies of our current culture. Suntans fade in the winter, but that doesn't mean loss of tan causes the flu. Influenza is worse in the winter because people spend more time indoors with others. In Montana, subzero weather seems to decrease the spread because it kills the germs on shopping carts and other public use items. (But I have not had the Montana Democratic party investigate that.)

 

2) I just read that in Flathead County, peak flu season is late January through mid-February, after the sweet holiday treats are gone, and many people still have a faint flicker of faithfulness to their New Year's resolutions to diet and exercise. 

3) If sugar is why people get disease, millions died needlessly in medieval Europe because sugar wasn't available there until the 11th century.

 

4) God made man robust enough to survive in wildly varying climates, on diverse diets, throughout all ages. Do you really think an omniscient, eternal God did not anticipate sugar?

 

5) Everyone has their pet bugaboo, but human existence has far too many variables to decide this health factor causes that. People who eat sugar do not eat only sugar, are not equally exposed to disease, vary in age and strength of immune systems, differ in activity levels, as well as many other things. My brother Roddy drinks 6-7 cans of Pepsi per day, yet all of his health numbers: blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. are perfect. Between working hard as a janitor and the involuntary movements from his cerebral palsy, Rod burns everything he eats. Dr. Atkin's, whose diet is heavy on fats, theorized that it doesn't matter if you eat butter, bacon etc. as long as you burn all the calories in what you eat. Roddy seems to be proof of that. (But so far the Democrats are too busy following Tim Sheehy to check that out.)

 

    Besides not wanting to mar my testimony by disputing with her on Facebook, I knew that she would probably counter with the same technique used by many health scare tactitions, give a list of symptoms so broad every human alive has experienced them--diarrhea/constipation/tiredness/insomnia/headache, etc. and state those symptoms prove you have gluten intolerance/high/low blood sugar/dairy allergies or, in this case--"sugar" poisoning. So now that I have written another salvo of sanity out of my system, all I can say to her diet is, "Sorry, Sugar."

Biting my Fingers

    There is an expression for times when you are tempted to say something you know you shouldn't--bite your tongue. What about an expression for those times you are tempted to reply to something stupid on Facebook and know you shouldn't? I suggest--bite your fingers. I kept getting a sponsored post on Facebook from the Montana Democratic party "exposing" that Tim Sheehy's statement There are more bears than people in Montana is not true. I finally blocked it because I don't want to blow my testimony as a Christian over politics, and it is painful to keep biting my fingers so I don't reply.

    You know how at a business meeting there is that one person who feels the need to explain what has been said even though everyone else understood it the first time. (The Montana Democratic party should go to meetings to fact check that statement.) Or that one person in the group who is the last one to get the joke and/or feels the need to tell others it was a joke, but the rest of them already knew that. This article is like that. I haven't decided how I feel about Sheehy, but I long ago decided how I feel about people who cannot understand common usage of the English language. When someone says they are so hungry they could eat a horse, you do not need to report it to Animal Control. When a teenager has broken curfew and says my parents are going kill me, most people would not call CPS. For the benefit of those those who do not understand, that is called an expression. Exaggeration is a common element of communication in our culture. Only the anal retentive consider it lying. 

     Years ago, during an especially bad fire season, our democratic governor said, The state of Montana is on fire (One of you can fact check old newspapers for the quote). Did he mean every inch of the considerable acreage of Montana was ablaze? No. It was just a way of saying there were a lot of fires in our state. For some reason tourism declined around that time, but we don't want tourists who are that gullible anyway. They might set up their tent on the grounds of Glacier Park Airport, not realizing it is not actually part of the park. Tim Sheehy was not announcing census statistics. What he meant was--there are a lot of bears in Montana. 

    There are analytical thinkers, and there are anal-literal thinkers. The latter drive me crazy. (That is an expression, you do not need to search for mental health clinics near me.) Having posted this blog to vent my frustration, I can now get back to biting my fingers.