Contrasts

 

     It's beautiful, the contrast between the dark and the light. Fluffy cumulo nimbus clouds, bright white against a sky blue backdrop, and right beside them, gray clouds carrying rain or snow depending on the temperature. Part of the landscape in sunlight, part in shadow. It is the contrast that makes them beautiful. Life is like that. Contrasts. One loved one dies, another is born. I have sent sympathy cards and baby congratulations on the same day.

   In the common grace of God, the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and the unjust of the earth. And even now, despite storms, droughts and floods, every drop of water in the universe falls exactly where God intends it to. Yes, God is that sovereign. Someday, the curse will be lifted from man and the universe, yet I believe even then there will be contrasts, but not between good and evil, ease and suffering, life and death. It will be only those distinctions that God knows showcase beauty best.

 

Beyond the Curse, we'll one day see

the world, as it was meant to be

pure and fair and, at last, free.

Honest to God

    I hesitate to use the above title because I have only heard that phrase misused, either by taking God's name in vain, (God says no, Dt. 5:11) or by using it to double down on truth telling. (Jesus says no, Mt.5:34) And it actually decreases the value of one's word. It is like saying, this time I am telling the truth! But the reason I think the title is appropriate is because we have been studying the minor prophets, and the prophets were not only unflinching in their messages from God to the people, but also honest with their own messages to God. Our most recent Bible studies have been on Jeremiah and Lamentations. None of the prophets were considered the life of the party, more like the death of it, but Jeremiah got to be the party pooper at a time of Judah's peace and prosperity. Those are good things. But it was also a time of hypocrisy that God finds detestable, outward observance of festivals and offerings while oppressing the weak and perverting justice. Those are bad things. Their religious rites and rules could not remove their wrongs and the ramifications. Their sacrifices stunk.

    Jeremiah's message of the coming destruction of Jerusalem was extremely unwelcome. At best, the people ignored him, at worst, they tried to kill him. However, being less popular than sewage among his fellow Jews, gave Jeremiah time alone to pour out his honest sorrow to God--to lament. Often, as in many of the Psalms, the lament is followed by a statement of trust in God. I looked at the poems I have written in the year since Tracy died and found that 10 of the 12 include some form of "but God". In one poem, I remember not feeling the expression of trust I wrote, but truth is truth regardless of how I feel, so even that statement was honest to God.

    There is often pressure from well meaning Christians to "fake fine" or rush through sorrow. They feel honest expression of our confusion or disappointment with God's plan is a poor testimony for a believer. But God is not a believer in shallow spirituality, that is one of the reasons Judah was being judged. Slapping a scriptural bandaid over a deep sorrow shows unfeeling faith to the suffering saint and unreal faith to the watching world. I need wisdom to know when, and to whom, I share my deepest sorrows, but I should always be honest to God.

    

Not For One Minute

    I have blogged before that a lot of the specific assurances God has given me since Tracy died have come while I am cooking in my kitchen. I'm considering spending all my time at home, minus sleeping and showering, in my kitchen, but I do not know if the messages will come if I am not actually cooking. I would happily forgo laundry and housecleaning anyway. 

    I was prepping food for our Easter dinner on Good Friday for two reasons: 1) because I wanted to have some to share with our parents when we went to Missoula on Saturday 2) because I did not think I would get much done after we returned from Missoula Saturday night. As I was cooking Friday, I noticed on my Chosen app that there was a video available of how they filmed the remarkable scene of Jesus walking on the water. As I played that scene again, ending with Simon saying what I had been feeling about the painful "firsts" we were facing--Don't let me go!, the Lord told me, I will never let you go. And I never let Tracy go, not for one minute. I cried. All through the years of Tracy's spiritual drifting and my fear for his salvation, God had my son safely in His hand. When the Getty's "He Will Hold Me Fast" came on Alexa, my tears came again. 

    We forget sometimes, that the fist of God is not there to sock us into submission, it is holding us secure from the one who tries with all his might to snatch us away. But the One who surrendered all His rights and died to purchase us, will not let us go. Not for one minute.